Simply click on the titles below to be taken directly to the article.
How I Feel About Home Education
Feasting on the Scriptures—The Atonement of our Savior
Developing a Testimony of Gospel Truths
Wonderful Ways to Love a Child
IT’S NOT ENOUGH
By Dr. Suess
It’s not enough to have a dream,
unless you’re willing to pursue it.
It’s not enough to know what’s right,
unless you’re strong enough to do it.
It’s not enough to join the crowd,
to be acknowledged and accepted.
You must be true to your ideals even if you’re excluded and rejected.
It’s not enough to learn the truth,
unless you also learn to live it.
It’s not enough to reach for love,
unless you care enough to give it.
Today you are you, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive that is youer than you.
Shout aloud I am glad to be who I am.
Thank goodness I’m not a clam, or a ham,
or a dusty old jar of gooseberry jam.
I am what I am, what a great thing to be.
Happy every day just to be me!
Simple Things…
Stacey Lytle Opening address – 2005 Conference
If you take a moment to think about some of the most spectacular moments in your life, the times you experienced pure joy in your heart! Those are the moments when we are most like a child!
The moments when we are filled with the wonder of a child!
Have you ever really watched the magic that sparkles in your children’s eyes ~ how completely alive and aware they are? They miss nothing…they are constantly watching, emulating, soaking like a sponge all that is around them.
Mothers…
I want you to think about something for a moment…
The Mother’s Heart is the Child’s Schoolroom ~ Powerful!
The Mother’s Heart is the Child’s Schoolroom!
SO, if my heart is my children’s schoolroom….
What kind of an education are they receiving?
Am I giving them my full heart? Am I opening it completely to them. Or am I half-heartedly going through the motions. Am I so caught up in the academics that I miss some of the most important and vital parts of their education.
Your children, no matter the age, are so impressionable. Open your heart to them, share with them all the love and joy possible. This is done through small and simple acts each day! It doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary, it doesn’t have to be well thought out, planned ahead for days and totally taxing on your time. The things that are of the most value and that will be remembered and appreciated by your kids are the simple times you stopped to listen and look and imagine with them. To run and explore. To stop everything you are doing when they come running to you with their excited little “Mommy Look!” Take advantage of these magical moments.
If you want to bring joy and happiness to your children, find it with them, enjoy it with them. And the bonus here is you, in turn, will also feel this same joy and happiness. Let them see their Momma having a great time. When was the last time your children saw you laugh while you splashed in the water, whether it be in the puddles or the irrigation water or splashing water in the tub. A few weeks ago, my kids were all out playing in the water as we irrigated. We had a small lake in our sand arena and my three little boys were racing their boats about, one little girl was jumping up and down splashing, the other just gently walking through. I found myself in the middle of all of them laughing and splashing and the best thing of all was I didn’t have a care in the world. At that particular moment in time, the only thing that mattered was my family and the joy we were all feeling together! I’ve thought about that so much…children aren’t caught up in all of the hustle and bustle of life. They aren’t worried about getting soaked out in the rain, they don’t care how their hair will look after having all the windows rolled down in the car. They are just happy with the simple things that happen to them each day.
Chasing a butterfly
Watching the ants
Waiting to see the first wishing star of the evening
Searching for the end of the rainbow
Turning a tree stump over to see what lies underneath
Spending hours hammering nails into an old piece of wood
The reason I bring this all of up is to remind you of the incredible, irreplaceable value you have on the lives of your children! Your child’s success in life will be a direct result of the small and simple acts that you as parents share with them. You are their greatest example, it is you they should be wishing to emulate! Every little boy wishes to grow up to be just as wonderful as his Dad and all little girls hope they can be just like Mommy when they are big. These feelings and desires come from the time we spend with our children, from our actions day to day, from the examples we set for them. We need to be the best. We should be giving our children our best, our best smiles, our best encouragement, our best great job, way too go, good for you, hooray you did it!
We expect others to be the best for them …As we search for instructors for our children, whether it be for music lessons, art instruction, sports or hobbies. We look for those we wish our children to emulate…We will search for an art instructor until we come across the one whose work is breathtaking ~ taking us to another place and time as we look at it. For music, we will seek for the sweet sounds that bring peace to our hearts. We would not be satisfied with a mediocre artist or musician if we desire excellence from our children, as they will learn by example and will emulate those that they look up to. So…once again…
The Mother’s Heart is the Child’s Schoolroom. Open your heart!
When you follow the path you have felt inspired to trod along in educating and raising your family, it will be the small and simple acts, the little things you do, that will keep your family strong.
Reading stories about the brave, the courageous, the honest.
Taking the time to explore nature, to get down on all fours with your little ones, really check out those ants or the animal prints along the path or maybe all the beautiful petals on the flowers. Take a moment to find the beauty in a dandelion that our children see.
Teach your children to give thanks to their Heavenly Father for the beautiful world they live in.
Get in the car and drive to find the end of the rainbow.
Lay out on the grass just watching the leaves blowing in the breeze, then just lye a little longer to find the assortment of shapes and creatures floating through the clouds.
When you get out a fresh load of towels from the dryer, teach your children to appreciate the warmth and fresh smell by expressing just how wonderful it is to you.
Next time it rains, run outside with your kids and don’t miss a puddle, jump in each and every one!
Share with them your excitement for learning new things each day…make it seem so spectacular to keep gaining knowledge that they will desire it for themselves.
Help them to understand adversity in their lives and then show them how to find the positive that comes of that adversity.
Let them always feel assured that they are the most important part of your busy day…that they come first, that families always come first. This is an essential thing for children to know.
It is all of these small and simple moments that will mold these little people into the great leaders of tomorrow!
As you are here today, you will be filled with so many wonderful, choice thoughts and pieces of advise. Take those that feel essential, those that truly touch your heart and implement them as you are ready. The spirit will advise you, you will feel what is of the greatest importance. Focus on those things, not allowing yourself to become overwhelmed, all the new ideas that you will hear do not need to be immediately implemented in your homes.
I pray that you will look for the simple things in your life, that you will seek for those magical moments and will relish in the joy they can bring into your family. Cherish them and may your hearts be the perfect schoolroom for your children.
What Is Your Vision?
Stacey Lytle - Opening Address for 2004 Conference
What is your vision? Do you have a vision of who you are? Of who your children are? Who they are to become? I’m not really talking about a vision where you close your eyes and picture something, although, this can become the case, but only after a great deal of time, effort and energy.
A true vision takes much more than this.
A true vision will help you to look at today and find the steps that will lead you down the right paths to your ultimate goal.
Do you have a vision of the work you are engaged in with your children. Do you look at it with excitement, energy, joyfulness, eagerness. Do you take each day and soak it up with them?
The theme of our conference this year is Lead Me, Guide Me. There is truly no better way of describing the day of a homeschooling mother.
As we lead and guide our families, we are building a foundation.
Our vision begins with laying a foundation.
We don’t begin this foundation at school age...
We start this when our children are precious and brand new to us. We start with showing them love and tenderness. ]
President David O. McKay said, “Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother’s image is the first that stamps itself on the young child’s mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world.”
We build this foundation as:
We teach our children to pray.
We help them to be kind, gracious and loving.
We lead them to find ways to help and serve others.
We show them how to love.
We cherish the time we have with them, whether it be going through the daily chores, reading a good book together or running together through the leaves.
As we do all of these things, we are laying a foundation built on Character!
I may have a vision that my children will excel academically, but if they have not learned to show kindness and sincerity, than that vision is of no worth.
President Gordon B. Hinckley said in a General Conference address, “Each day we are made increasingly aware of the fact that life is more than science and mathematics, more than history and literature. There is a need for another education, without which the substance of our secular learning may lead only to our destruction. I refer to the education of the heart, of the conscience, of the character, of the spirit – these indefinable aspects of our personalities which determine so certainly what we are and what we do in our relationships one with another.”
President Hinckley sums up what a true education is in this statement, an education of the heart. The character traits our children will gain during our journey of homeschooling are of the utmost importance! In his book, Stand a Little Taller, he says, “It is not enough simply for parents to provide food and shelter for their children’s physical well-being. There is an equal responsibility to provide nourishment and direction to the spirit and the mind and the heart.”
As I read this last line...
A responsibility to provide nourishment and direction to
The spirit
And the mind
And the heart,
I have pondered exactly what path we should follow in educating our children. I thought about each, spirit and mind and heart. First, do we nourish and direct their spirit? If we begin our day with a devotional, we are following the counsel of daily prayer and scripture study – this may be the highlight of their day!
Second, do we nourish and direct their mind?
By providing our children with the best of books, they may seek words of wisdom and be filled.
And lastly, do we nourish and direct their heart?
By loving them for who they are, living life with them. Jumping in and having fun. Helping them to find the good in themselves and in others. Nourishing a child’s heart is so easy – hold them close to your heart, enjoy their spirit, be thankful for their exhuberance and zest for life, laugh, dream run and jump with them. When they are filled with love in their hearts, they can give it away to others.
The children that we have been blessed with in our homes are choice! They are meant for greatness! And You are meant to guide them to that greatness! To show them that you believe in them – to open up the doors of potential in them.
As we look at our children, we will begin to see a vision of the greatness that will come of them. They will be the future leaders of this world. They must be strong, courageous, valiant, unwavering, yet tender and caring. All of these attributes are in each and every one of them.
By showing them how we believe in them, we are giving them a precious gift.
This gift comes from you! Mothers, your influence is astonishing!
There is a great story told about some boys who lived during a time of great conflict in their land. Their strength and faith were unwavering. Two thousand of these young men, went to war so that the gospel could be on the earth and their families could be safe and happy. These young men had never fought before. They chose a great Nephite prophet named Helaman to be their leader. As they went to war, they told Helaman that their mothers had taught them the gospel and that they believed it to be true. They knew Heavenly Father would protect them, they had been taught by their mothers that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. They had been taught to keep the commandments of God and walk uprightly before him. Their mothers had been teaching these principles to them for 20 years. Because they had been righteous and faithful all their lives, Heavenly Father blessed and protected the two thousand stripling warriors.
Alma 57 25-27 reads: “And it came to pass that there were two hundred, out of my two thousand and sixty, who had fainted because of the loss of blood; nevertheless, according to the goodness of God, and to our great astonishment, and also the joy of our whole army, there was not one soul of them who did perish; yea, and neither was there one soul among them who had not received many wounds.
And now, their preservation was astonishing to our whole army, yea, that they should be spared while there was a thousand of our brethren who were slain. And we do justly ascribe it to the miraculous power of God, because of their exceeding faith in that which they had been taught to believe – that there was a just God, and whosoever did not doubt, that they should be preserved by his marvelous power.
Now this was the faith of those of whom I have spoken; they are young, and their minds are firm, and they do put their trust in God continually.
President Ezra Taft Benson taught, “In the spiritual battles you are waging, I see you as today’s sons of Helaman. Remember well the Book of Mormon account of Helaman’s two thousand stripling warriors and how the teachings of their mothers gave them strength and faith. These marvelous mothers taught them to put on the whole armor of God, to place their trust in the Lord, and to doubt not. By so doing, not one of these young men was lost.” In Alma 53:20-21 it reads, they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted. Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him.
”Something that is noteworthy is that the stripling warriors “gave their mothers credit for teaching them, but they kept the commandments with exactness. This is the great secret. It is so important that we be in condition to serve the Lord, and condition comes only through obedience.” Their mothers had been teaching them these imperative things for 20 years!
A foundation that our children must have is the knowledge that these young men had. To put their trust in God continually! To doubt not! To follow the commandments with exactness!
We are training leaders. This generation has been saved for these days. They need to be prepared to stand up for what is good and right and true. Their testimonies must be strong and unwavering. This begins at home with us – with each example, each lesson, each experience we begin building on their foundation.
Now, you can close your eyes, can you see the potential, can you see the greatness your children possess.
Encourage them, love them, uplift them. Lead and guide them.
Your journey together is sure to be eventful, cherish each and every moment of it as you walk through your days together.
Message by Stacey Lytle
“I’m not very good in school. This is my second year in the seventh grade, and I’m bigger than most of the other kids. They like me all right, even though I don’t say much in class, and that sort of makes up for what goes on in school.
I don’t know why the teachers don’t like me. They never have. It seems like they don’t think you know anything unless you can name the book it came out of. I read a lot at home – things like Popular Mechanics and Sports Illustrated and the Sears catalog – but I don’t just sit down and read them through like they make us do in school. I use them when I want to find something out, like a batting average or when Mom buys something second-hand and wants to know if she’s getting a good price.
In school, though, we’ve got to learn whatever is in the book and I just can’t memorize the stuff. Last year I stayed after school every night for two weeks trying to learn the names of the presidents. Some of them were easy, like Washington and Jefferson and Lincoln, but there must have been thirty altogether and I never did get them straight. I’m not too sorry, though, because the kids who learned the presidents had to turn right around and learn all the vice-presidents. I am taking the seventh grade over, but our teacher this year isn’t interested in the names of the presidents. She has us trying to learn the names of all the great American inventors.
I guess I just can’t remember names in history. Anyway, I’ve been trying to learn about trucks because my uncle owns three and he says I can drive one when I’m sixteen. I know the horsepower and gear ratios of twenty-six American trucks, and want to operate a diesel. Those diesels are really something. I started to tell my teacher about them in science class last week when the pump we were using to make a vacuum in a bell jar got hot, but she said she didn’t see what a diesel engine had to do with our experiment on air pressure, so I just shut up. The kids seemed interested, though. I took four of them around to my uncle’s garage after school and we watched his mechanic tear down a big diesel engine. He really knows his stuff.
I’m not very good in geography, either. They call it economic geography this year. We’ve been studying the imports and exports of Turkey all week, but I couldn’t tell you what they are. Maybe the reason is that I missed school for a couple of days when my uncle took me downstate to pick up some livestock. He told me where we were headed and I had to figure out the best way to get there and back. He just drove and turned where I told him. It was over 500 miles round-trip and I’m figuring now what his oil cost and the wear and tear on the truck – he calls it depreciation – so we’ll know how much we made.
When we got back I wrote up all the bills and sent letters to the farmers about what their pigs and cattle brought at the stockyard. My aunt said I made only three mistakes in 17 letters, all commas. I wish I could write school themes that way. The last one I had to write was on “What a daffodil thinks of Spring,” and I just couldn’t get going.
I don’t do very well in arithmetic, either. Seems I just can’t keep my mind on the problems. We had one the other day like this: If a 57-foot telephone pole falls across a cement highway so that 17 ¾ feet extend from one side and 14 16/17 feet extend from the other, how wide is the highway?
That seemed to me like an awfully silly way to get the width of a highway. I didn’t even try to answer it because it didn’t say whether or not the pole had fallen straight across or not.
Even in shop class I don’t get very good grades. All of us kids made a broom holder and a bookend this semester and mine were sloppy. I just couldn’t get interested. Mom doesn’t use a broom any more with her new vacuum cleaner, and all or our books are in a bookcase with glass doors in the family room. Anyway, I wanted to make an end gate for my uncle’s trailer, but the shop teacher said that meant using metal and wood both, and I’d have to learn how to work with wood first. I didn’t see why, but I kept quiet and made a tie rack even though my dad doesn’t wear ties. I made the tail gate after school in my uncle’s garage, and he said I saved him twenty dollars.
Government class is hard for me, too. I’ve been staying after school trying to learn the Articles of Confederation for almost a week, because the teacher said we couldn’t be good citizens unless we did. I really tried because I want to be a good citizen. I did hate to stay after school, though, because a bunch of us guys from the Southend have been cleaning up the old lot across from Taylor’s Machine Shop to make a playground out of it for the little kids from the Methodist home. I made the jungle gym out of old pipe, and the guys put me in charge of things. We raised enough money collecting scrap this month to build a wire fence clear around the lot.
Dad says I can quit school when I’m sixteen. I’m sort of anxious to because there are a lot of things I want to learn to do, and, as my uncle says, I’m not getting any younger.” - Author Unknown
As I finished reading through this story, I felt so grateful that I have the opportunity of “teaching” my children at home, or rather, providing an open environment of learning for them. More than being their “teacher”, I feel my role is better put as their guide, helper, and strongest encourager. I am not really here to teach them so much as to help them to understand how to learn and why it is so important for them.
The capabilities of our children far exceed the expectation or the creativity allowed them by the rest of this world. In a public school setting, children must follow the way the teachers and administrators want learning to happen. The schedule and makeup of the classroom do not take into account the individual student. They are not allowed to write of something other than “What a daffodil thinks of Spring” because this would conflict with the “Conveyer Belt of Public Education”. This student could have been very successful in writing a paper based on the workings of diesel trucks. Instead he was limited to daffodils and felt like a failure in his writing abilities. At home, the child decides what is important for them to know and we help to guide and direct that learning. We encourage them to use their free agency and practice making choices. We, as their mothers and fathers, may allow them all the space, time, creativity and pleasure of exploring their interests and putting their wonderful little ideas to work.
I find it so interesting that most children learn nearly half of all they will EVER learn by the time they are four or five years old. And knowing this, that parents who have been primarily responsible for their child’s growth to this point in life, remarkably feel inadequate to the task of educating their children as they grow older. Most parents are more capable of providing their children with a choice education than they could obtain anywhere else! Why? Because we believe in them, we see in them the potential to do and be anything they set their minds to. They need our encouragement and loving support.
To teach our children well, we must first, love them – this is easy. Second, provide nurturing and understanding, and third, possibly one of the most vital, teach them to love learning. Make learning fun, an experience, an adventure, a lifelong journey! It does not all have to be textbooks, workbooks, or mindless busy work. It can be so much more than that! Be excited with them, grow with them, allow them to explore and jump right into the middle of their interests.
Yes, there are still the “3 R’s”, the basics, but these should take a short time in a child’s day in comparison to the time they should be exploring and studying what they truly desire to learn of. We have found it best to spend the morning hours on music practice, devotionals, and the basics. That leaves the remainder of the day for our children to have for individual study time, nature studies, arts, and achieving their goals and dreams.
If we will focus on each child’s talents and gifts, being sure to teach them to think for themselves and not rely on others to think and act for them, then, and only then, will we reap the reward of a happy, self-directed, self-motivated, full-of-life, enthusiastic, well-balanced child!
Blessings to you and yours,
Stacey Lytle
The Way I Pray
Author Unknown
I knelt to pray when day was done
And prayed, “O Lord, bless everyone.
Lift from each saddened heart the pain
and let the sick be well again.”
And then I woke another day
and carelessly went on my way.
The whole day long I did not try
to wipe a tear from any eye.
I did not try to share the load
of any brother on the road.
I did not even go to see
the sick man, just next door to me.
Yet, once again, when my day was done
I prayed “O Lord, Bless everyone.”
But as I prayed, into my ear
there came a voice that whispered clear
“Pause now my son, before you pray
Whom have you tried to bless today?”
God’s sweetest blessings always go
By hands that serve Him here below.
And then I hid my face and cried
“Forgive me, God, I have not tried,
Let me but live another day
And I will live the way I pray.”
My Children's "Angel"
Stacey Lytle - President Message for DHSA-- February 2003
Once upon a time, there was a child ready to be born. One day she asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there so small and helpless?"
"Among the many angels, I chose one just for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
"Here in heaven I don't do anything else but sing and smile and that's enough to be happy. And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me and I don't know the language that men talk?"
"Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."
"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
"Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."
"I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?"
"Your angel will defend you, even if it means risking its life."
"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
"Your angel will always talk to you about me, and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment, there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly, "Oh God, I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."
"You will call your Angel "Mommy."
The thoughts that come with this poem are very touching. We often see our children as angels, but have we ever thought of ourselves as being our child's "Angel?" Have we thought of the significance of our role as "Mommy"; of all that it really encompasses? From their precious births, to the day they are ready to soar off on their life missions, we are here to guide, help, and encourage each and every step of the way.
I had the opportunity the other day to visit with Sallie Roberts. During our conversation, I was very moved by a comment that she had made. We were discussing our eldest children and what their plans were as they both prepare for graduation. Sallie asked me questions that I did not have definite answers for, because, unfortunately as I told Sallie, Shealyn is our eldest and therefore "the guinea pig" of our home schooling endeavors. We joked around a little about it not being terribly fair for the eldest because the mother is learning right along with child. Sallie responded that they came first to us because they would be strong enough to withstand all they would need to. She went on to say, "Heavenly Father did not inspire us to home educate our kids to ruin them. He has a mission for each of our children to achieve. We have been called, by Him, to guide them to that mission."
Nephi knew his mission, and in 1 Nephi 3:7, he tells us; "…I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." He was taught from "goodly parents."
We have all of the resources to teach and prepare our own children, likewise.
1) We teach them to pray; communicate with Heavenly Father and feel his spirit so they will know "the will" of the Father in their own lives.
2) Daily lessons from the scriptures keeping Christ and His teachings central to our lives; and receiving a Patriarchal Blessing show the path to follow.
3) Teaching the principles of the gospel, including the Proclamation on the Family, along with living the covenants we have made, gives an eternal purpose.
4) Understanding the process of repentance brings the desire to be obedient and results in the joy and happiness that comes with keeping the commandments.
5) While weekly renewal of our covenants strengthens and empowers us to make choices toward righteous living.
"We are getting our children on the path, knowing the purpose of life, having the desire for joy and happiness, with the power to be successful in the journey. They, in turn, will be able to accomplish their life's mission and "the thing which he commandeth them."
"Heavenly Father did not inspire us to home educate our kids to ruin them. He knows we are right for this important job."
I greatly appreciate the blessing of my calling within this wonderful organization. The greatest gift is talking with each of you and the growth I receive from the inspiration that you share. We are richly blessed to have such a choice group of sisters to friendship and lean on while we strive to do the best we can for our children. you each add so much to others lives…you are not only Angels to your children, but to all whose lives you touch!
To close for this month…especially for those Angel moms who are about to let their children follow their paths on their way to accomplishing their life mission, I thought you might enjoy a little thought by Erma Bombeck. Erma Bombeck wrote a piece that likened children to kites: "You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash. They hit the rooftop. You patch and comfort, adjust, and teach. You watch them left by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly. Finally, they are airborne. They need more string and you keep letting it out. But with each twist of the ball of twine, there is a sadness that goes with joy. The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and will soar as is meant to soar, free and alone. Only then do you know that you did your job."
Treasure your precious job; remember you were chosen by Heavenly Father to be your child's Angel!
I’ve Got Talents!!!
Fable by Danielle Lytle
May 2004 - Age 10
Once upon a time there was a laughing hyena, a long necked giraffe, a fat hippo and an ostrich, a bird that can’t fly. They were all friends, but sometimes they didn’t treat each other like friends should. The hyena made fun of the giraffe because he had such a long neck. The giraffe made fun of the hippo because he was so fat. The hippo made fun of the ostrich because he could not fly. And the ostrich made fun of the hyena because of his laugh. They always made fun of each other, they were beginning to wonder if they had any talent at all? * Da d d daaa * (Movie effects)
The animal friends started feeling sad inside. They all needed to find something good about themselves, they were sure they each had at least one special talent. So, they spent some time thinking about the great things about themselves and then came back together. The giraffe said, “I have a long neck so that I can reach the best leaves on the tallest trees!” Then the hippo said, “I can hold my breath super loooonnggg!” The ostrich said, “I can run fast and long!” The hyena said, “I work well in a pack!” They were so pleased when they shared what was special about themselves. They decided to never tease each other again, instead they would figure out what gifts God had given to them and be happy about those!
They lived happily ever after!
The moral of this fable is: If you look at the best in others, they’ll most likely look at the best in you!!! We all have talents, we just need to find them and then use them!
The End
(I just love the lessons we can learn from our children and the lessons they can share with others! What a blessing they truly are to us!)
Stacey Lytle ~ June 2003
You began your "roller coaster ride" the day you brought home your first little bundle of pink or blue. So happy, willing, and excited to climb aboard, you carefully strapped yourself in and held on, fully ready for the joy of this wonderful journey. Little did you know now what intense moments this ride might have in store for you. Your ride probably started out relatively smooth, a few inclines and turns, but nothing too frightening. Before you knew it, your ride became a little more exhilarating. At times difficult, unexpected, leaving you ever anticipating what might lie around the next corner. In the blink of an eye, you found yourself holding on for dear life as you went screaming down a 200-foot decline only to begin another ascent with the dreaded upside down Loop-of-Terror straight ahead. Through the excitement and intensity of this ride there were also moments of peace and tranquility as your car passed through the beauty and wonder of nature, the trees covering overhead with a crystal clear lake and beautiful, lush waterfalls below. The pendulum of emotion that came because this ride of life covered all of the ups and downs, the twists and turns, the unknown, the hysterical laughter, the overwhelming thoughts of what next, the tears, the incredible adrenaline that comes with complete sensory overload, all of the positives and negatives. Looking back, did you laugh, did you make the most of it, did you dread the thought of ever doing it again or were you so ready to jump right back on? On this roller coaster ride—your life—you don’t know if you are up or down, if you are still on the track or if you just about to fall off the edge. This is especially true if you are the mother of "spirited" children. This term was developed by the author of Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Spirited Child replaces the more negative terms such as difficult, challenging, overwhelming or strong-willed. Most families will have at least one if not many "spirited" children. This child is more intense, more persistent, more energetic, more sensitive, and more perceptive. A spirited child is the one who is more uncomfortable with change than other children. Spirited kids experience every emotion and sensation deeply and powerfully! They are temperamentally more intense, but the positive side of this is that they are also more enthusiastic, exuberant and zestful; they are truly full of life. If your child is a very loud, energetic child who needs constant reminding to quiet him/herself, it might be a relief for you to know that they are not being loud just to irritate you. They are loud because they are truly feeling that much excitement, their intense sensations and emotions are real, this is their natural reaction. These children are more easily excited as well as frustrated, they tend to be much more emotional. They show their emotions very intensely, they will shout with glee so that all will know of their joy and they will also cry and wail at their disappointments or pain. The persistence of a spirited child can be unnerving, they are usually unable to give up easily, being totally committed to their tasks and not willing to stop the activity they are engaged in until they are done. They are goal-oriented, they are motivational to others, and they truly know what they want. The challenge is only in winning their cooperation. These little people are also very sensitive, they tend to be the ones who can’t stand the scratchy tag in the back of their shirts, their socks have to be perfectly lined up on their toes, the smells from foods may bother them tremendously, crowds are often more than they can handle, loud noises will cause them to act out. They will be the ones who are sure they are going to die if they do not eat immediately or if they are too cold or too hot. They are sensitive to the stress in your home and will often act worse when the stress is at a high level, which unfortunately only creates more stress on Mom. A spirited child’s energy is very high at all times, they wiggle and twist, they run instead of walk, they have to jump up to touch everything in reach, they sleep wildly tossing from one side to the other, they are always on the move. These children need the opportunity to release their energy. They are often labeled ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), simply because they need to wiggle, they need to be free to move about and not be required to sit still in a chair to complete their tasks. It really is okay to allow a child this freedom, it does not mean they are not paying attention—if a child is able to wiggle and complete his or her work they simply have an active temperament.
A key to successful parenting is to know and understand your children. When you are able to understand their temperaments and personalities, you will be far ahead of the game. You will find yourself less frustrated and overwhelmed. The intensity of your child will become a positive factor rather than a negative. Instead of looking at your child as demanding, explosive, whiny, picky, argumentative or loud, you can go with a more positive approach. Rather than being demanding, they hold high standards, explosive changes to dramatic, whiny to analytical, picky to selective, argumentative to opinionated or strongly committed to their goals, and loud to enthusiastic and zestful. Surely a child would prefer to be referred to as enthusiastic and dramatic…these are extremely positive points, being selective is regarded as a good point and having an opinion is a great quality. By changing the way you look at your children, you can in essence change and redirect their negative behavior to becoming a positive light. Love your spirited children for who they are, allow them make you laugh, allow them to enrich and bless your life. Don’t let their intensity scare or overwhelm you. Recognize it for what it truly is; intensity is passion, zest and vitality.
As you climb back on your roller coaster ride each morning, I hope and pray that you will find joy and excitement, that the ups and downs will be manageable, that each day you will anxiously await a new ride! Laugh, have fun, dream, hold your precious children close to your heart, run and jump with them, enjoy their spirit, be thankful for their exuberance and zest for life!
Thank you for the opportunity of serving this past year. I am so very grateful for the wonderful friendships I have made. My life has been truly blessed in a special way by knowing each of you. May you always be inspired in your endeavors with your children. A dear friend of mine once told me, "When In Doubt, Look Up!" will pass that on to you with the prayer that you will always have hope, that you will never loose sight of where you are helping to take your little ones. Always know that Heavenly Father will inspire you, He will guide you, He will always be there for you, follow Him and your children will also.
Smorgasbord of Ideas
Lynnelle King — President - November 2004
I came across this poem last month that was used in a completely different context, but describes a homeschooling situation in a "colorful" way. It also points out that yes, indeed, we need the support of each other.
COLORING OUTSIDE OF THE LINES
Coloring outside the lines is scary business.
Sometimes I don't have the courage for it all.
On my big, bold days, though, I let my red crayon just streak across a line.
I swirl my purple and my orange out there with it in perfect freedom; no lines.
Coloring outside the lines is lonely, too.
I'm the only one who doesn't get a gold star on my paper.
The teacher frowns; the kids call me weird, dumb.
Why won't they see that I'm not behind them?
I'm out in front, running free--outside the lines.
It would be nice to have a friend who colors outside the lines, too.
Would you?
(Anonymous)
Another idea that won't leave me alone this month is a concept that I learned in a Waldorf Seminar that I took several years ago. The concept of RHYTHM in our lives. This Waldorf concept is one that I reflect upon often, and have incorporated into our home in various ways and degrees. As best as I can remember it and use it --it's a way to think about my day. To use the concept of rhythm, we would look first to nature and the spirit of the child for guidance in our approach to our day---not to schedules or preconceived needs. For example: In the fall, lots of outside experiences are appropriate as we experience the change in the season-- the sights, smells, and etc. of the earth are exploding with color and change. It also makes us want to "ready" ourselves for winter, and those activities ie: canning, fixing the barn or animals up for the winter, reading wrapped in a blanket outside in the wind, are valuable activities for identifying with the season. Just as listening to our internal clocks for bed times and wake-up times. If waking up at ...let's say 7 is not working over and over--look at how your family might be served by your paying attention to rhythm instead of schedule. If you get up at 8 and that relieves some significant family pressure just note it as a choice you have. Then during the day--pay attention to what's working and what isn't--would a snack work best after a walk outside, or does math only work in the morning or afternoon? Those are concepts of rhythm--events that work in a certain order---but not necessarily at the same exact time. I also like the Waldorf idea of having a small nature table inside the house that holds "treasures" from outside and reflects what's happening to our earth.-- Yes it's earthy, but the kids LOVE it!
Ok, next thing--- did you read the October Ensign?? How about the very first article entitled "Teaching Our Children" by Thomas S. Monson? Let me just quote a tiny bit. "Parents and grandparents fill the role of teacher. So do siblings of the growing child. I offer those who serve as teachers of children four simple suggestions for your consideration:
1. Teach prayer
2. Inspire Faith
3. Live truth, and
4. Honor God"
And then Pres. Monson gives examples about each of those 4 points. I loved it.
Finally, I wish to leave you with a quote from one of my favorite classics, Little Women. I love to read this book in the fall, it's a part of my personal "rhythm" in getting ready for the holiday season. This is the council Marmee gives to Jo right after the ice-skating accident with Amy. She is counseling with Jo about the struggle she had in the refinement of her own temper. Her love for her daughter is so tender and rich with teaching, it makes me want to be like her in "those moments".
"If I don't seem to need help, it is because I have a better friend, even than father, to comfort and sustain me. My child, the troubles and temptations of your life are beginning, and may be many; but you can overcome and outlive them all if you learn to feel the strength and tenderness of your Heavenly Father as you do that of your earthly one. The more you love and trust Him, the nearer you will feel to Him, and the less you will depend on human power and wisdom. His love and care never tire or change, can never be taken from you, but may become the source of life-long peace, happiness, and strength. Believe this heartily, and go to God with all your little cares, and hopes, and sins, and sorrows, as freely and confidingly as you come to your mother." "Jo's only answer was to hold her mother close, and, in the silence which followed, the sincerest prayer she had ever prayed left her heart without words; for in that sad, yet happy hour, she had learned not only the bitterness of remorse and despair, but the sweetness of self denial and self-control; and, led by her mother's hand, she had drawn nearer to the Friend who welcomes every child with a love stronger than that of any father, tenderer than that of any mother."
Typed by Myles’ Mom
April 2004 – Age 7
Once upon a time there were four big cats.
Their names were Leo Lion, Timmy Tiger, Chucky Cheetah and Max Mountain Lion.
They lived in the jungle. They were all grown ups.
One day, they got together to have a party.
Leo Lion wanted to bake the cake, but every time he tried to crack the eggs his claws got in the way and broke the eggshells into tiny pieces and fell into the bowl. He said, “I CAN’T DO IT!!!” And then he gave up!
Timmy Tiger wanted to blow up the balloons. His teeth were too big! Whenever he started to blow up the balloons, they would pop! He tried again, IT POPPED! He said, “I CAN’T DO IT!!! And then he gave up!
Chucky Cheetah wanted to put the ribbons and decorations up. As soon as he would get one side up, the other side would fall down. He got frustrated and said, “I CAN’T DO IT!!! And then he gave up!
Max Mountain Lion wanted to think of some games that they could play. He couldn’t think of anything. He thought and he thought and he thought. He couldn’t figure out any games to play. He said, “I CAN’T DO IT!!! And then he gave up!
They all saw each other. Everyone looked sad. Leo Lion said to the other cats, “Let’s not give up yet! If we don’t give up we can do it!”
So, they all worked together. First they made the cake, they clipped their claws so they wouldn’t break all the egg shells. Then they blew up the balloons, but instead of putting them in their mouth with their big, sharp, long teeth, they blew through a straw instead! Next it was time to hang up the decorations. When they were hanging up the decorations, they all went over there. One of them held one end and then one held the other end and the other two said, “Yea, that looks good there!”
They were each trying to think of a game to play. They decided to have a race. Max Mountain Lion won the race! They were all happy and having tons of fun!
After the race, they went to eat the cake. It was good! It was a strawberry cake. It was as big as an elephant, it looked like Max the Mountain Lion, except it was red. Max ate the mountain lion that was on the top! Everyone else chowed down on the rest. It was a great party.
They all learned a great lesson …
Keep on trying…never give up!
Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where you go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a pricke-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump. And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done. You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a place to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for the Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
NO! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. FAME! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that sometimes you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot. And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, You’ll move mountains!
So…Be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way!
~ A Mother's Influence ~
by Stacey Lytle (taken from a talk given at the 2007 Home Educators Conference in Idaho)
I’d like to start out by telling you a story. You probably will not believe this could be true as I go through it, but I assure you it is. Actually as homeschooling mothers, you may have similar stories…I hope you don’t but…
A few months ago, my husband was in a motorcycling accident which left him with a broken collar bone, chest contusions, bruised ribs and a rather interesting coloring of black and blue all upside and down the entire left side of his body. For the first time in our marriage, he was completely unable to do anything for himself. I had to help him with literally everything, dressing, eating, moving from one location to another, getting him comfy as he tried to sit or lye down…I think you get the picture. He was just like a little one when they come into the world, only in a much larger body, one not as easy to maneuver and lift. This was quite a humbling, difficult time for him.
In addition to my needing to help him out at home, we own and operate a carpet cleaning business. Work did not cease, just because his body did. So for a few weeks, I was his carpet cleaner in addition to the other tasks. At first it was kinda fun, I was able to spend the whole day with my husband! It was almost like a date, but not quite…I didn’t recall ever having a date that was quite as difficult on my body as this…this date required sweat and muscles to lift things that were quite hard for me. And I needed to make sure to keep a bright, happy smile on my face, because this was killing my husband to have to watch me do his work. Mind you, the amount of work I was able to do in a day’s time did not even amount to what Chad could do in a few short hours, but for me it was a killer.
Physically, this was hard for me. Emotionally it was hard for Chad to watch me. And for all of our children having to manage at home, it was completely devastating and way too much pressure. They did so well for quite a number of days… Until Tuesday….A Tuesday I will never forget the rest of my life!
We had just a couple of jobs to go do. Then had to stop off at the Boy Scout store to pick up the awards for pack meeting that night. Chad is the Cubmaster and I am the Webelos Leader for our ward. This was a big night for all of our little scouts. They were going to be Chefs for the night and prepare their very favorite dishes to share. We have two boys in scouts, so we also had to fit preparing their dishes for the big night! It was too bad they couldn’t have chosen a quick, easy thing like cookies or cheese and crackers, anything easy!
But their choices were Crepes and Homemade Pizza. And that was narrowed down & simplified from the much desired 3 course meals they really wanted to prepare. On a normal day, this probably would have been just great, but we hadn’t seen normalcy in quite some time.
I’m going to take you back to this day with me…ready, brace yourselves!
We’ve accomplished the work that needed to be done, picked up everything from the scout office and we are now arriving home. As I get out of the van, I hear a child crying in the house. I walk to the front door, unlock it and gasp as I look around. I’m sure I must have entered the wrong home, maybe I should turn around and check to make sure I’m really at my home. I open the door again, and this time I see two little people that sound like my little girls, but don’t even resemble them.
I’m tired, I’m hot and I’m sweaty! Yuck!!! It’s already been a really long day and it’s hardly even begun…
I walk into this house and I turn into a crazy woman!
I’m screaming, I’m crying, I’m having a fit saying to all of my poor children, “If Health and Welfare were to walk into this home they would take you all away. I’ve never seen such a mess in my life and what in the world is all over Cassie and Natalie?” Cassie replies in her sweet little voice, “Oh, that’s just hot chocolate mama!” This surely could not be hot chocolate unless they turned it into a thick paste and used it for face and body painting. Someone has spilled lemonade or some sort of sticky substance all over the kitchen floor so as you walk you’re sticking.
It was an unbelievable sight, I just knew it must be a bad dream! But the bad dream just kept on going!
We had to quickly clean up the house, the children, and then begin their cooking for the big night!
We made it to the church building, pulled everything off and headed home.
We arrived home, unloaded the car and dropped everything in the kitchen, I’d bother cleaning it all up later, there was just too much to look at at that point, a bowl that still contained the batter from the crepes and the pizza pans along with the various utensils and such.
I helped my husband up to bed, gave him his pain medication, which promptly sent him off into la-la land. And headed down to spend the much needed rocking time with my little one downstairs while my children were supposed to be getting themselves ready for bed upstairs.
Within just a few moments, I hear screaming from my son Wyatt. Myles comes down the stairs, “Don’t worry Mom, he’s just fine, he’s only mad at Bryce.” Ok. But the screaming doesn’t stop, it only seems to become stronger and stronger. So, I put my almost 2 year old down, run up the stairs to see what is happening, meeting my 4 year old while she is coming down the stairs. I find Wyatt in the bathroom, hunched over the sink throwing up. There is a lovely trail heading all the way from his room to the bathroom. I asked what happened. “Bryce punched me in the stomach!” So, I clean up Wyatt, the bathroom, the bedroom. (Crying the whole time, why me???why me???, I’m so tired, I just wanted to go to bed tonight!)
I head back downstairs to my little girls and now I’m sure this is the worst nightmare of my entire life…it could not get any worse than this!!! Remember the bowl with the left over crepe mix I put on the counter to take care of later. Well, Cassie and Natalie decided it would be great fun to finger paint the floor, the cabinets, and themselves.
Crazy woman has definitely set in at this point…I start jumping up and down. NO, NO, NO! This cannot be happening! I again am crying and have completely lost my mind. And lo and behold a scripture pops into my mind and I am certain Heavenly Father has lost track of me. You know the one, He will never give you more than you can handle. Well, I knew this was more than I could take, more than I could handle.
At that moment, I wanted to walk out my front door and just keep walking until my husband had healed and my children had grown! But I didn’t, I cleaned up the girls, got them to bed, cleaned up the kitchen and dropped into bed.
The worst thing about this day was that my heart was empty. I had no compassion. I found myself thinking all sorts of nasty thoughts, like that darn motorcycle!!! Those darn messy kids! My life is just too hard! All the while knowing that this is just life, it throws us all sorts of little difficulties. It was just that this particular day, it felt that I had been thrown way more than I could handle.
I was very grateful that I had the next day to regroup. We did not have to go out for work. I was able to stay home with my children and things ran somewhat normal, they were a bit clingy and needy, but I expected that from them. That evening I went to pick Danielle up from Young Women’s and had a few minutes alone in my car, Quiet Time! Much needed quiet time.
My scriptures were sitting between the seats staring at me. For some reason, I avoided them at first ~ I think I was still feeling that I had been forgotten or abandoned by Heavenly Father. Well, I finally picked them up and just began reading as the pages fell open for me. The answers I received were very real – very obvious, which at that time was exactly what I needed. Things like this experience do not happen to me – so I was very grateful that I was so blessed! I opened and read in many different places. And it was so incredible for me, each page that opened talked about compassion.
I had finally received an answer, all of this had happened for me to have a greater compassion for my husband and for my children. And when I looked at it in that light, everything was great. I was no longer thinking that darn motorcycle, I was feeling grateful that Chad is blessed enough to have something that gives him pleasure, that gives him his release. He rarely goes to ride, but when he does he comes home refreshed and full of energy and he’s ready to take on the world again because he was able to have his cup filled.
And for my children, I knew that I was truly needed by them. They weren’t really trying to make me the crazy woman I became, they needed their mom, and just weren’t able to express all of their emotions. I was able to sit down with them and thank them for all they had been doing and assured them that it wouldn’t be long until Dad could go back out on his own and that we just all needed to work together, to support each other, to encourage and uplift ~ because that is what a family is all about!
I left this experience a better person. I had been so worried about the house, the school work, the work, the kids being left, my husband hurting. That I couldn’t see there was a purpose in all of this.
I needed to learn greater compassion, my heart needed to be enlarged and open for anything that may come our way! I needed to be open to inspiration by my Heavenly Father, and as soon as I allowed that I felt all the comfort I was in need of. I needed desperately to seek my answers, my comfort from a source greater than I. What I needed most was to drop to my knees and to look above to Him for guidance and love. He hadn’t lost or forgotten me, I was feeling lost and forgot to focus on Him!
Which leads me to another thought…
Inspiration
We all have days when it is just too much! We must go to our Heavenly Father during these times to make ourselves stronger. He has all the answers we are in need of. Even down to the education of our children! This is the missing key that I see with so many families.
We do not need the state to tell us what and how to teach our children. We do not need the public school system or the available charter schools to dictate what and how our children will learn. Our children are individuals and were sent to us. We have been granted stewardship over them and as such, we are entitled to the inspiration necessary to rear them in righteousness. To teach them the things that are vital to each little individual person!
They each have their own mission, their own vision.
We must help them to recognize what that mission is.
They instinctively know what they need in this life. Just take a few minutes to ask them what they want, what they need. I promise you they will have answers for you. They will be profound answers, no matter the age of the child. They know how and where they should be spending their time, allow them to search within themselves for these answers. Then take the time to work with them to set up the best possible environment and schedule to accommodate their wishes. They will surprise you…they will challenge themselves.
Believe in them and pray for them.
Teach them to pray for answers.
Then sit back and be amazed at how truly incredible they really are!
The reason for the theme of this conference this year…is just this.
A Mother’s Influence.
This is all about you…
Dad’s it is also about you, but in most families, the mother is the one who is essentially the decision maker for the way school will run in a family. Mother’s, you have a big role to carry. But you are not required to do this on your own.
You will influence your family, by being influenced by the Spirit. By searching, praying and pondering and then following the guidance you’ve been given you will be able to guide your own. This cannot be said enough! Your influence is vital! You know how and what to teach your children…believe in yourself. Follow your heart, don’t follow what anyone else says you must teach!
Remember that A Mother’s Heart is the Child’s Classroom!
Your heart is full enough to know all that your children will need to become who they are meant to be.
Does this mean we need to be as the Mothers of the Stripling Warriors?
I believe it does. The times we are in now are no different than they were. We are raising the children that Heavenly Father needs to stand firm and strong and unwavering! Their testimonies must be deeply embedded in their hearts…this can best happen at home. Invest the time in them each and every day.
Make your devotionals the most, pour your hearts into the preparation for this part of your day. All else is gravy! If you must miss something of your day, let it be everything but your devotional time. This is essential for your children’s needs, it is essential for you and will set the tone for the remainder of your day together. The days that we have wonderful devotional time together are the days that seem to run smoothly, that all the kids work together and they try to be a little more patient, a little more kind, a little more understanding and helpful to one another.
Unfortunately, I forget this and let it slide and family life isn’t quite as pleasant! There have been so many times when I feel burdened by those things that I feel we haven’t spent enough time on…you know the math, the spelling, whatever it may be, and I skip our devotional time to hurry into these to make sure we cover everything necessary. There is a different feeling. We seem to just be going through the motions to be able to say we accomplished the things on our list of to do’s. It becomes more like busy work, mundane unnecessary, time consuming nonsense. It doesn’t have to be this way if we focus on the most essential and add the other to it.
Please don’t go away from here today with the thought that the Lytle family has this one all under control. We are far from it. I think the saddest thing about is the fact that I do know what makes it great and I still fall prey to all the nonsense that exists and essentially forget the most important part ~ My children need this daily feeding just as they need nourishment for their little bodies – even more so I believe they need this spiritual nourishment and refining time to help them to become who and what they are meant to be. The way of a woman’s heart is to follow this – to follow the Spirit daily – no matter what! This is when our hearts are full of peace and joy!
Another thought that I’d like to share with you is a small one.
One word will do. And that word is SIMPLIFY!
Far too often, we make things much more difficult than need be. It isn’t necessary to attend all the field trips that are available or each and every activity from every avenue you are engaged in.
Be choosy about what is the most important for your family. And remember to involve your families in the decision making of what you need to be involved in.
Just last week, I sat with all of our children and asked what they’d like to be involved with this coming school year. I had some grand plans that I felt would be such a perfect fit. To my surprise, my children wanted nothing to do with all that busyness! Their requests were quite simple. I found myself quite relieved after I had spent this time with them. Had I not, I’d be in the midst of planning and busyness that was completely unneeded.
Take some time to try to Simplify.
This will keep you on the path of Homeschooling.
It is when things become too crazy that so many Mothers find the task overwhelming and too taxing. It needn’t be that way.
Simple is easy, it’s relaxing, it’s fun and it’s productive because you can focus on your vision for your family!
The Tongue of Angels. Do any of you remember this talk from General Conference? I distinctly remember it. I was certain that Elder Holland was speaking just to me. It was a conversation simply between Stacey Lytle and Jeffrey Holland. I honestly felt that way, he was looking at me, he was reading my mind. He knew of the times I had raised my voice, the times I had been discouraging rather than encouraging to my children. He was reminding me that these little people were gifts to me and that I should treat them as such.
In his talk, he created imagery that for me was very profound ~
“The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones.”
He goes on and says “A woman’s words can be more piercing than any dagger ever forged, and they can drive the people they love to retreat beyond a barrier more distant than anyone in the beginning of that exchange could ever have imagined.”
He says, “Sisters there is no place in that magnificent spirit of yours for acerbic or abrasive expression of any kind.”
He reminds us being so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or dan’t say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child’s view of himself or herself. But it is even more important in shaping that child’s faith in us and their faith in God.
Be constructive in your comments to a child – always.
He continues with our being negative of ourselves.
He counsels us to speak hopefully.
Speak encouragingly, including about yourself.
He ends with these wise, sweet words, “When your Father in Heaven and his only Begotten Son speak to you – and they will – it will not be in the wind, nor in the earthquake, nor in the fire, but it will be with a voice still and small, a voice tender and kind. It will be with the tongue of angels. May we all rejoice in the thought that when we say edifying, encouraging things unto the least of these, our brethren and sisters and little ones, we say it unto God.”
I am grateful that this has been impressed upon my heart to speak with the tongue of Angels, I have so far to go, but the thoughts come to my mind and I am reminded of how I felt the day I listened to Elder Holland speaking directly to me.
As I’ve spent time the last few months preparing this conference, so many feeling and thoughts have come – but what has stood out the most significantly is to rely on Heavenly Father, to go to Him, to trust and believe in Him.
I know your journeys each day can be troubling and difficult at times, can leave you wondering if what you do is enough, if it is sufficient. Remember that your best is enough. And Heaven knows we are all giving it all we have – we are giving our best. You are so special and so important!
One last thought I'd like to leave with you...School is secondary.
It is not the most important thing to do or to focus on with your children. Life is first, school is second. Enjoy your life, enjoy your kiddos, laugh everyday, play everyday, learn everyday… be grateful everyday for the gift of your children. And please, please always remember your worth!
A Mother’s Influence, your influence is all your children need in this world.
And the Way of a woman’s heart is to follow the spirit in order to influence her family and keep them on the right path.
Bless you all as we go through this day that you may feel the spirit and feel uplifted and loved. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Be Still
Lynnelle King — President Message for DHSA - February 2005
When you hear that small phrase, what comes to your mind?? First of all, I think of Be Still and Know that I Am God. Then I think, hey that’s one of the BE’s from Pres. Hinkley’s book! And then I think---hmmm I wonder if that will ever be a reality consistently for me. After all, the concept of my being still is somewhat akin to the concept of my floor being spotless—brief moments in time!! And yet when I hear these words, Be Still, I feel a longing. What is that? Why? And for What?? Is it for “simpler times”? Is it for the rest that Being Still seems to tempt me with? Or is it something more? I believe that these words create in me a knowledge of something more. Why? Because God is Still. He beckons to me gently and quietly, waiting. I feel innately that Being Still with God will give me an opportunity to learn some how-to’s for my life. Now this is an interesting concept to bring up in the month of February, the month of love, but I am convinced that we can draw an empowering combination when we draw together the attributes of Love and Being Still. How do I know God loves me? Well, he has created a beautiful home for me. He has given me gospel knowledge so that I will understand who I really am. He has given me specific directions for my conduct here on Earth, and He is always there for me. He is still, and when I am still, and we are together, unspoken convictions are felt in my heart, and I want to please Him. My life changes, because my heart changes and longs to be closer. How do my children know I love them? I strive to create a beautiful home for them. I give them gospel knowledge so that they will understand who they really are. I give them specific directions for their conduct here on Earth, and I am always there for them. When I can remember to Be Still, and they are Still with me, unspoken convictions are felt in Their Hearts, and they want to please me. Being Still with me gives my children opportunities to learn some how-to’s for their lives. Our lives are changed together, because our hearts long--- in turn ---to be closer. I try to remember this in the middle of a busy day. We are endowed with the gift to nurture. We can know when taking the time to Be Still will be of benefit to us and to a child. Love is never so great as when our Hearts are changed, and we truly feel that change together.
Enjoy these moments!
By Shealyn Lytle (age 17) – Given at the 2003 Home Educators Conference
My Talk today is going to be on Pride. I think the conference staff chose me to speak because they know what an amazing orator I am… Just kidding!
I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs, or toast. When other kids had cokes or candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. And as you can guess, my supper was different from other kids’ too.
At my house OR any one else’s for that matter, my mom still tries to make me eat my peas. Ask Sister King. But at least I wasn’t alone in my sufferings, my sisters and brothers had the same mean mother as I did.
My mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing. She insisted, if we said we’d be gone an hour that we would be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute.
When I am not home on time or have not called to tell my parents what I’m up to, my mom will still be awake at night frantic, because she is sure that I have died, been in a car crash, or desperately desperately need her, etc. etc.
I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we did as we pleased. Can you imagine someone hitting a child just because he disobeyed?
(What my mom politely says to me,) Oh- you think that’s bad? Well let me tell you! Why when I was a girl…Now can you begin to see how mean she was?
The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up early the next morning. We couldn’t sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept my mother actually had the nerve to break the child labor law! She made us work! We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook, and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.
My mom tells me on a regular basis that she believes I lay awake at night thinking up things to argue about and to annoy her with!
She always insisted upon our telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us—It nearly did…
By the time we were teenagers she was much wiser, and our lives became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us.
When I have had dates or my boyfriend comes over, my dad makes them get him Peanut Buster Parfait or Chocolate shakes before I can leave for the night…
I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old-fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen that is, if you dated only to go to a school function, and that was once or twice a year…
Fifteen! I don’t think so, not my mom, I had to turn down two guys a week before my sixteenth birthday.
My mom has forced me to grow up into a God fearing, educated, and honest young adult. But I know when I have children; I’ll stand a little taller and will be filled with pride when they call me mean. Because you see I thank God He gave me the meanest mother in the world.
I really do love my parents more than my words can express. They are both truly great people. But I do believe that I have had the Meanest Mother and for this I am grateful!
To live in the world, but not of the world.
How often do we see and hear from the media or even friends, that women should go out in the world and be out of the home to have a fulfilling life? I see it almost everyday. For me, people want to know when I am going to college full time, what I want to major in so that in four, six or eight years I can have a great job and make lots of money. They want to know what kind of a career I am striving toward. I remember from when I was younger and in grade school, the thing always mentioned was that you need to work hard so that you will be smart enough to make it to college and then make lots of money so that I would be rich and happy when I grew up. The focus for everything is always in the world.
The truths of eternity, mothers being in the home, loving, supporting, nurturing and strengthening us are set at naught as unimportant and to be omitted. It is obvious to me that Lucifer understands the power that Mothers have in the lives of their children. So he works harder to make the world look down on your selfless efforts. But we know that Heavenly Father is on our side. Margaret D. Nadauld said this in General Conference, October 2000, “Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough, we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse, we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude, we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune, we need more women of faith. We have enough greed, we need more goodness. We have enough vanity, we need more virtue. We have enough popularity, we need more purity.
It is in following these thoughts, that I have been inspired to go in a different direction than what the world feels is best for me. For me, I wholeheartedly believe that you should further your education, like the Prophet has told us, but I do not necessarily believe that means that you have to receive a degree to receive knowledge. When I have prayed about what I should do concerning education, I have felt inspired that I am not supposed to work toward a career. Just like homeschooling is different than public education, I will further my education on my own rather than through the education system.
Now let us take a principle of the Gospel, for example, Prayer. At first, you try it out because you have faith to act, over time you continue and your prayers are answered so your faith is strengthened and eventually your faith becomes so strong, that to say you believe in the power of prayer is an understatement – because you know the power of prayer.
I’d like to read a scripture from Alma, and liken the principle of the Gospel to Homeschooling. Alma 32:34 “And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened. And your mind doth begin to expand.”
So after you have been homeschooling, you really have, in my opinion, a testimony of the value of it. It is not something you just have the faith, or courage to do. It becomes something you know is worth your every effort. And when you are at the point where certain days are hard and you feel inadequate, rely on Heavenly Father, he will sustain you. Ask yourself, are your troubles causing you to lose your faith or Use your faith? Don’t give up because after the trial comes the blessings and you will gain the reassurance that you are doing the greatest work on earth.
OK so, I don’t feel like I have missed out on any social aspects. If I have missed out on something, it is the things I would not want to be involved with anyway. Even though we have been sheltered we all still know what goes on and could take part in whatever we wanted. Yes I still have had to make decisions of right and wrong according to peer-pressure. Your kids will learn how to deal with the same things. They wont be weird, they will however be built up on a stronger foundation.
I have been involved in many things at the high school. I’ve always been in Seminary, and often the kids I am friends with there invite me to do different things the school is putting on. Like comedy plays, dances, and parties. Also I have played Varsity soccer, during this time I became very close to some of the girls, and have wonderful memories from our team bus trips. Although it was always hard to be around the teams constant profanity and crude jokes, especially when about 80-90% of the team had little to no standards. My senior year when they asked me to play again I chose not to. I have also been to Prom, which was way fun. Your kids lives will be normal and exciting if you just stay involved in whatever their interests are.
The advice and most important thing I think I could leave you with is that you need to do all you can to help your kids realize their potential. And what better atmosphere do you have to do this in than the home? There isn’t one. Be their guide and mentor them through their studies as they get older. They need to realize it’s their life and their education--not yours-- Have it be what they want, and not always what you want, just be open about things. School didn’t really matter to me a whole lot until I realized I was responsible for myself and that my parents were not going to try to force me to learn. Help them to love learning, don’t teach them, or put the idea in their heads, Hurry and finish so you can go play-because it turns school into a burden. Help them to love learning, relax and try not to push it too much. Because like I said at the beginning of my talk, we don’t need to do things like the world “THINKS” we should.
Reality and Hope
Message by Stacey Lytle
I’ve had the chance this last week to visit with about 30 of the wonderful moms in our organization. With some of you, I’ve laughed, with others I’ve cried, with some I was able to relate how very similar our lives are, with others I tried to encourage and still others I was the recipient of encouragement. It is such a blessing to be associated with the most choice sisters of all…you are such incredibly sweet spirits and I am privileged and grateful to call you my friends!
I feel an intense need to encourage you to continue with this work that you are engaged in for your children. It is such a reality to be tired, to feel discouraged as you look around and everything may not be in the order you wish it to be. As so many of you have been feeling, it is hard and can be completely draining and exhausting…but more importantly than all of that is the magic that comes from your sacrifices. “What magic!?” you ask. You might wonder where the magic is, no one is coming in and “magically” cleaning your house or doing your laundry while you sleep. No one “magically” plans your lessons for your children or fills the refrigerator with food and drink. No one “magically” wakes early to prepare breakfast and then cleans up afterward. So, where is the magic? Take a moment. Look in your children’s eyes…you’ll find it…if you stop long enough to look. Try to look past what they forgot to do, look past the towels that are lying on the bathroom floor again or the dirty dishes left on the counter or the toys scattered across the living room floor. Instead, take time to cherish the sweet little notes they write to you saying, “Momma, you are so speshle (special).” Or “I Love You This Much” with a picture of their little arms stretched out as far as can go. Relish in the joy of knowing that they desire to also teach their little ones when they have the opportunity in their parenting days. Try to keep your motherhood and homeschooling life in perspective, yes there is mayhem and craziness each and every day, but the magic overshadows all. Your children believe in you, whether they are about to graduate and venture out or are just beginning to toddle about. Believe in yourself, focus on the magic that you find in your days with your children.
If your frustration is such that you aren’t able to find the magic, then perhaps it is time for a family council. Express to your children and your spouse what you see happening, if each family member is not doing his or her part, then let them know of the burden and hardship it is causing you. Families need to share the workload, so that they have time to share the magic and fun. The reason for bringing this up is the most common complaint of homeschooling mothers is that of being overwhelmed with all there is to do. Attempting to keep up with schooling, laundry, house cleaning, cooking, paying the bills, keeping everyone happy, not to mention the callings we may hold in church or any other major obligations that take up our time.
Heavenly Father would not have inspired you to have your children home with you if He felt you could not do this work. That does not mean that it will be easy, but knowing of His inspiration should give you the hope that is needed to keep on. Rely on Him to inspire you in the directions you need to be going with your children. Relax and do what you know to be best for your children, you are the most perfect teacher they could ever have…remember, He entrusted them to you! Work with your families, plan with them, play with them and focus on the MAGIC that is found in the eyes of your children. They are worth it all!
As I was about to send this off to be included in the newsletter, I took a moment to look at the thought from Gordon B. Hinckley’s “Stand A Little Taller” for a peek at tomorrow’s counsel and inspiration. I will forever be amazed and eternally grateful for our Heavenly Father. For April 27th – it reads:
RISE TO YOUR POTENTIAL
A gracious woman retaineth honour. Proverbs 11:16
“I feel to invite every woman everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles come to pass.”
Organize Yourselves
Lynnelle King — President Message for DHSA - January 2005
Well, here we are, at the beginning of a new year—can you believe it??? It’s come so quickly. However shocked I am at it already being January, I find myself ever grateful for the Season.
It is newness and a chance to try all over again! This is true in our mothering skills, our teaching skills, our home management skills etc. The list goes on and on. Ok, so let me be honest—the scripture that I always think of at this Season is good old D&C 88:119—You know, the put your home in order scripture. It is a part of who I am in January!! BUT it is only in the past few years that this scripture has brought me comfort rather than anxiety.—you see my home is only Orderly in its appearance on a regular short-term basis. (IE: Monday after cleaning and an occasional afternoon during the week.) So how did I find peace? It’s in the order of the scripture itself. First, it says to
*Organize yourselves ie: have a plan!! Next, *Prepare every needful thing ie: get ready with the tools and time that you will need to carry out your plan. Then First, *Establish a house, even a house of PRAYER: Prayer has to be at the top of your organized plan; your preparation has to include a way to make this happen consistently. Second on the list, *A house of FASTING: Why?? A simple reason may be that denial of earthly cravings draws us to the Lord in gratitude for the wealth of blessings he has bestowed. And grateful people are inherently happy people. God wants us to be happy. Third, *A house of FAITH: Faith is the first principle of the gospel. A look at how to develop faith in ourselves and in our family members can be found in many resources, but a simple place I have found is in Alma 32 –especially verses 26 and 27. Fourth, *A house of LEARNING: I think we all have that one started!! Fifth, *A house of GLORY: A place where all credit is given to God. Where what is exemplified therein is worthy of Him. And after all these things, Sixth, *A house of ORDER: It is important that our homes are OF Order—Order is the way of God—everything He does is in and of order, and that is why our divine nature craves the peace order brings. But our house needs to also be established IN Order—in the order the scripture gives us First through Sixth----- and if it is, we will have : *A house of God. It is said that the most sacred place on earth is our Home. As we think about this New Year, let us put a little more effort into putting our homes IN order.—The order God has outlined.
Following is an excerpt from a talk by Ardeth Kapp. I found her words encouraging—I hope you do as well.
Encircled in the Arms of His Love
Ardeth Greene Kapp is an institute teacher at the University of Utah.
She serves on the board of directors at the Deseret News
Publishing Company. She is the former Young Women's general president.
Ardeth and her husband have served in the Canada Vancouver Mission.
© 1999 Ardeth Greene Kapp. All rights reserved.
President Spencer W. Kimball spoke of our time with these prophetic words: "To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman's strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times" (My Beloved Sisters, 17).
Did not our very souls burn within with the call from a prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, in the last general Relief Society meeting? Hear again his words, "Rise up, O women of Zion, rise to the great challenge which faces you" (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, November 1998, 99). On another occasion he called for "a little more effort, a little more self-discipline, a little more consecrated effort. . . . You can do better than you are now doing" ("The Quest for Excellence," Brigham Young University Devotional, Provo, Utah, 10 November 1998; available at http://advance.byu.edu/devo98-99/Hinckley f98.html).
Should this in any way sound like a chastisement? No, I think not. Rather, it is a testimony of a prophet concerning our potential, our divine nature, our ability to make a difference at this historic time. Could it be he knows us and our circumstances better than we know ourselves?
We might hear in our minds the familiar words from another time and season, "And who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14). This is our time, my beloved sisters, our challenge and our opportunity, whoever we are, wherever we are. Our Father in Heaven knows us and is counting on each one of us to do her part. And we can. We are given strength and power through our covenants, which provide a special relationship with our Father in Heaven. Through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ and our obedience, we receive an enabling power to do things we could not otherwise do on our own (LDS Bible Dictionary, s.v. "grace")
Feasting on the Scriptures - The Atonement of our Savior
Talk given by Stacey Lytle ~ Easter 2008
Good Morning to you on this Beautiful Easter Sabbath Day!
I have been asked to speak on Feasting on the Scriptures and felt it only appropriate that we feast on the contents of the Atonement of our Savior, of His Beautiful Resurrection, of…Easter.
President Ezra Taft Benson said, “The Greatest events of history are those that affect the greatest number of people for the longest periods. By this standard, no event could be more important to individuals or nations than the resurrection of the Master.”
Feasting on the Scriptures to some may seem like not much of a feast. But I want to assure you, that if you were to sit down to a feast of writings, concerning the Atonement and Resurrection of our Lord, you would surely feel very well nourished and fed…possibly overwhelmingly full! Remember, when we speak of scriptures – we have the standard works and we also include modern day revelation, each month we receive new messages meant for us in the Ensign. This month’s Ensign is beautiful, dedicated solely to the Savior. I have loved and cherished the time I’ve spent over the past couple of weeks studying and reading from the New Testament, the Book of Mormon, and words from past and present prophets of the loving sacrifice our Savior gave as a gift to each and every one of us in this room and throughout the world.
Easter Sunday ~ I remember not too many years ago when this day to me was centered around Easter eggs and easter bunnies with easter egg hunting followed up by a great dinner with family and friends. What wonderful memories I have from all of those years. And now, I have the added blessing of the understanding of the Atonement and I have the added blessing of attending Church and partaking of the sacrament each week. Now, as a mother, I am able to teach my children what an incredible week the Savior had prior to his resurrection. Now, our focus is more. This year we have spent time discussing all of the events leading up to His crucifixion, learning of the Passover, trying to understand what the Savior truly experienced as He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane while taking upon the sins of every person who has ever lived to the end of the time. And then focusing on the beauty of the Resurrection…on the reality that our Savior died for us, then was Resurrected and now lives and guides us. What a beautiful thing to be able to share with my family…that I know that my Savior, my Redeemer lives! I have had the opportunity to learn with my kids and to gain a greater love and appreciation for the gift that we’ve all been given.
I’ll never forget sitting in Sacrament Meeting on Easter Sunday, 11 years ago, less than a year after my baptism. It was then that I really learned about my Savior. I was in awe as I learned of His love for me, of His Sacrifice for me, learned of his suffering and pain and his unwavering love for His Father and for all of mankind.
Maybe today, there will someone in the congregation who will leave with the knowledge that I gained on that special day, when I felt the unconditional, true Love of Jesus Christ for me. When I went away feeling so much more about my existence than I had prior to that sacrament meeting. When my focus of Easter changed from sweet easter bunnies dropping cute little decorated easter eggs and delicious candy to a broader perspective that included the gift that was given to each of us – the gift of the Atonement. The true gift of Easter.
During my study, I came across a lesson titled “To this end was I born” – One thing that was very profound to me was that the Savior’s first recorded premortal words were “Here am I, send me”. Among his first recorded mortal words were “I must be about my Father’s business”. And His last words He spoke in mortality were “Father, it is finished, thy will is done.” Jesus never lost sight of his Father’s will or his own mission. He could have called upon legions of angels to rescue him, but he did not. Despite the agony, he never faltered in his humility and his willingness to accomplish the infinite Atonement.
In 1985, Elder Bruce R. McConkie said of the Atonement, “I feel, and the Spirit seems to accord, that the most important doctrine I can declare, and the most powerful testimony I can bear, is of the atoning sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ.
His atonement is the most transcendent event that ever has or ever will occur from Creation’s dawn through all the ages of a never-ending eternity.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: “As part of His infinite Atonement, Jesus knows ‘according to the flesh’ all that through which we pass. He has borne the sins, grief’s, sorrows, and …pains of every man, woman, and child.
And the Prophet Joseph Smith said, “Nothing in the entire plan of salvation compares in any way in importance with that most transcendent of all events, the atoning sacrifice of our Lord. It is the most important single thing that has ever occurred in the entire history of created things; it is the rock foundation upon which the gospel and all other things rest. Indeed, all “things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it.”
Salvation comes because of the Atonement. Without it the whole plan of salvation would be frustrated and the whole purpose behind the creating and populating of the earth would come to naught. With it the eternal purposes of the Father will roll forth, the purpose of creation be preserved, the plan of salvation made effective, and men will be assured of a hope of the highest exaltation hereafter. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol1, pp121-138)
Let’s go back about two thousand years ago, when Jesus of Nazareth, the very Son of God himself knew it had come, his time, to be offered. He began his descent to the holy city of Jerusalem, riding on a young donkey. He approached the temple on a path that the jubilant crowd had lined for him with palm leaves, flowering branches, and some of their own garments, carpeting the way for the passing of their King. That path soon led to an upper room, where Jesus would have his Last Supper with his disciples. He taught the twelve a lesson in humility and service that they would never forget as He washed their feet. He taught them of the Sacrament. He taught them of service and of love.
Following the Last Supper, outside Jerusalem’s walls, there was a pleasant garden spot, Gethsemane, where Jesus went in quiet isolation. It was here that our Savior knelt among the gnarled olive trees, and in some incredible way that none of us can fully comprehend, He took upon Himself the sins of the world. Even though His life was pure and free of sin, He paid the ultimate penalty for sin – yours, mine, and everyone who has ever lived.
We do not know,no mortal mind can conceive the full impact of what Christ did in Gethsemane.
We know he sweat great drops of blood from every pore.
We know he suffered, both body and spirit, more than it is possible for man to suffer, except it be death.
We know that in some way, incomprehensible to us, his suffering satisfied the demands of justice, ransomed our souls from the pains and penalties of sin, and made mercy available to those who believe in his holy name.
We know that he lay upon the ground as the pains and agonies of the infinite burdens caused him to tremble.
We know that an angel came from the courts of glory to strengthen him in his ordeal.
As near as we can judge—this suffering—continued for some three or four hours.
In D&C 19:18 – Jesus spoke of Gethsemane, “Which suffering,” he said, “Caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of the pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit.”
His mental, emotional, and spiritual anguish were so great they caused him to bleed from every pore. And yet Jesus suffered willingly for each of us.
After this—his body then wrenched and drained of strength—he confronted Judas and the others who had come for him and he was led away as a common criminal by rough and crude hands.
He endured the agony of inquisition, he was abused and beaten, his head was crowned with sharp thorns, a mocking robe of purple was thrown over His bleeding back.
It is vitally important for us to all understand one point that needs to be made clear. No one had the power to take the Savior’s life from Him. He gave it as a ransom for us all. As the Son of God, He had the power to alter the situation. Yet the scriptures clearly state that He yielded Himself to scourging, humiliation, suffering and finally crucifixion because of His great love towards the children of men. During all of the taunting and abuse and even to the final torture of crucifixion, the Lord remained silent and submissive – except, that is, for one moment of intense drama.
That moment came during His trial. Pilate said to Jesus: “Speakest thou not unto me? Knowest thou not that I have power to crucify thee, and have power to release thee?” (John 19:10)
The Lord in His quiet majesty responded, “Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above”
What happened thereafter with his crucifixion did not come because Pilate had the power to impose it, but because the Lord had the will to accept it.
“I lay down my life,” the Lord said, “That I might take it again.”
“No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again.” (John 10:17-18)
Again, He had the power to alter his situation; he yielded himself and gave himself as a ransom for us.
What He suffered is agonizing to read, impossible to understand, heartbreaking to believe…
He rose from the sufferings of all they had inflicted on Him and then he carried his own cross until he collapsed from the weight and pain and mounting agony of it all.
Finally, on the hill called Calvary—again, it was outside Jerusalem’s walls—while helpless disciples looked on, the Roman soldiers laid him upon the cross.
With great mallets they drove spikes of iron through his feet and hands and wrists.
Then the cross was raised that all might see, gape, curse and deride. This they did, mocking him, for three hours from 9:00 a.m. to noon.
Yet He cried out, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34
Then the heavens grew black. Darkness covered the land for the space of three hours, there was a mighty storm. He hung on the cross for another three hours, from noon to 3:00 p.m. At this point, Jesus cried, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46 Again, he endured all the infinite agonies and merciless pains of the Atonement at Gethsemane, his suffering was almost more than He could stand. This great anguish was part of the Savior’s suffering to pay for our sins and Heavenly Father had to let Him do it alone. Finally, when it had all taken its toll—when the victory had been won, when the Son of God had fulfilled the will of his Father in all things—then he said, “It is finished” (John 19:30), “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit” (Luke 23:46) Jesus bowed His head and gave up His life.
Finally, it was over. His mortal life was finished. He had offered it as a ransom for all. Finally, he could go home.
His body was hurriedly, but tenderly, placed in a borrowed tomb on the eve of the Jewish Sabbath. Then, early in the morning of Sunday, Mary Magdalene and other women came to the tomb. Arriving, they saw an angel who spoke to them: “I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for He is risen, as He said.” Matthew 28:5-6
After some thirty-eight or forty hours—three days as the Jews measured time—our Lord came to the tomb, where his partially embalmed body had been placed. Then, in a way incomprehensible to us, he took up that body which had not yet seen corruption and arose in that glorious immortality which made him like his Father.
He then received all power in heaven and on earth, obtained eternal exaltation, appeared unto Mary Magdalene and many others, and ascended into heaven, there to sit down on the right hand of God the Father Almighty and to reign forever in eternal glory.
His rising from death on the third day crowned the Atonement. Again, in some way incomprehensible to us, the effects of his resurrection pass upon all men so that all shall rise from the grave.
The Atonement of Jesus Christ was an indispensable part of our Heavenly Father’s plan for His Son’s earthly mission and for our salvation. How grateful we should be that our Heavenly Father did not intercede, but rather, withheld His fatherly instinct to rescue His Beloved Son. Because of His eternal love for you and me, He allowed Jesus to complete His foreordained mission to become our Redeemer.
I’d like to share some words from Bruce R. McConkie, that to me, are so powerful! “And now, as pertaining to this perfect atonement, wrought by the shedding of the blood of God—I testify that it took place in Gethsemane and at Golgotha, and as pertaining to Jesus Christ, I testify that he is the Son of the Living God and was crucified for the sins of the world. He is our Lord, our God, and our King. This I know of myself independent of any other person.
I am one of his witnesses, and in a coming day I shall feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears.
But I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God’s Almighty Son, that he is our Savior and Redeemer, and that salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way.
And from our Sweet President Hinckley, he said, “Jesus Christ is the central focus of our worship. He is the Son of the living God, the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten in the flesh. He is “risen from the dead…the first fruits of them that slept. He is the Lord who shall come again “to reign on the earth over his people. None so great has ever walked the earth. None other has made a comparable sacrifice or granted a comparable blessing. He is the Savior and Redeemer of the world. I believe in Him. I declare His divinity without equivocation or compromise. I love Him. I speak the name of Jesus Christ in reverence and wonder. He is our King, our Lord, our Master, the Living Christ, who stands on the right hand of His Father. He Lives! He lives, resplendent and wonderful, the living Son of the living God.”
And again from President Benson,
“The Greatest events of history are those that affect the greatest number of people for the longest periods. By this standard, no event could be more important to individuals or nations than the resurrection of the Master.”
In closing, I’d like to read (Because I cannot sing) two songs that I feel sum up and make beautiful what this day is truly all about.
How could the father tell the world of love and tenderness? He sent his Son, a newborn babe, with peace and holiness.
How could the Father show the world the pathway we should go? He sent his son to walk with men on earth, that we may know.
How could the Father tell the world of sacrifice, of death? He sent his Son to die for us and rise with living breath.
What does the Father ask of us? What do the scriptures say? Have faith, have hope, live like his Son, help others on their way. What does He ask? Live like his Son.
I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me, Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me. I tremble to know that for me he was crucified, that for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.
I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine, To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine, That he should extend his great love unto such as I, Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.
I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt! Such mercy, such love, and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat, Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.
I do stand amazed. I stand amazed that he cared enough for me to die for me. I feel unworthy of all that he suffered for me, of his sacrifice, of his love. I can only pray that I will live my life so as to please him and my heavenly father in the things that I do and say.
I have a testimony of the gospel, I have a testimony of my Savior – I know that he lives, I know that he atoned for my sins and for yours, that he is patient and loving and understanding, that he looks for and sees the best in each of us. Jesus is the Son of God, the Messiah and Savior, who saves us from sin and death. Because of who He is and what He did for us, we can have everlasting life and become who we are meant to be. D & C 76:22, says it all: After the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!”
Butter and Honey Shall He Eat
Lynnelle King — President Message for DHSA - June 2005
To my dear Friends and Families,
It is with a joyful heart that I write this last President’s message. I have so enjoyed serving you this year. I have loved getting to know many new people and becoming reacquainted with many “oldies”. The activities have been well attended and through you and our many speakers, I have learned a TON more about home schooling. This last message is very dear to my heart. It came as an answer to prayer last year, and has served as a comfort to me ever since. I wish to share it with you and hope that you will glean comfort from its message.
“Kids need to be exposed early to the tough things in life so that they’ll know how to handle them as they grow up.”
“School socialization may not be the best, but it gives kids a dose of the real world.”
“If kids aren’t exposed to the world early, they won’t know how to cope.”
“Kids need to have lots of real-world exposure so that they can learn to tune out the bad stuff before it gets worse.”
I had been hearing many messages like these---- seemingly coming from all directions all during a small amount of time. My head tried to make sense of these ideas and my heart yearned to know how MY FAMILY needed to fit into these comments. They didn’t feel right, but at the same time, they rang true in some respects. My children DO need to be strong and not naïve. They need to be able to “deal with the world”, and to deal with what their time of life was offering them. After all isn’t that one of the reasons that we’re doing what we’re doing? Home schooling is supposed to support growing strong adults!! So the comments were hard to hear and confusing to my heart and mind. AND THEN… I attended a meeting where the speaker was a Media expert and took the time to make the point that:
“We just cannot expect to protect our children from everything, especially with all of the filth in today’s world.”
Ok, the protection thing really got to me, because of course we cannot protect them from everything, but what was I, the mother, supposed to protect them from, if not the filth of today’s world?? In yesterday’s world it was the river, and bears, and disease. In today’s world……. So I took it to the Lord. “How can I understand my responsibility to my children in today’s world? I have felt strongly about educating them at home for many reasons, please help me to understand this reason.” As I studied my scriptures with these ponderings in mind, I came across a golden thread of counsel. In 2nd Nephi, we are reading essentially from Isaiah. In chapter 17, in only 3 verses, he touches on Christ’s birth. In verses 14 and 15, I got my answer.
14: Therefore, the Lord himself shall give you a sign—Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and shall bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.
15: Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil and to choose the good.
So here it is…
Do you see that Mary raised our Lord and Savior on butter and honey?? Not necessarily literally—but figuratively—she raised him on butter and honey (the sweet, full things) “so that he may know to refuse the evil and to choose the good” Christ would not have to weigh the options, or waffle between what was good or not, he was able to KNOW to refuse the evil and CHOOSE the good because of the sweet, full things that He was taught as a child in His home. These things made sense to Him when he encountered them throughout his life. His mother gave Him these good things, not the “here deal with this because you’ll have a lot more to deal with when you grow up,” things. What a witness of comfort and truth these verses have brought to me. My job is to be like Mary and give my children all of the sweet and full things that I can. Exposure to the outside world will happen gradually as my children grow, but if nurtured correctly, their minds and hearts and their ability to know to refuse the evil and to choose the good will be strong. They will not be naive because I will spend the time to educate them about the world they live in and will be honest in giving them a clear picture of their responsibilities in it. They will be different. That is ok. In this world, different stands out, especially when it is clean, and bright, and full of truth. Isn’t that what we want? I give you my witness that this “different” path is a good one—not the only one, but a good one. If nourished by faith and a trust in the Lord, you will be successful in educating your little flock!
Satan’s Convention
Satan called a worldwide convention. In his opening address to his evil angels, he said, “We can’t keep the Christians from going to church.”
“We can’t keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can’t even keep them from conservative values. But we can do something else. We can keep them from forming an intimate, abiding experience in Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken. So let them go to church, let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time, so they can’t gain that experience in Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do, angels. Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!”
“How shall we do this?” shouted his angels.
“Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent unnumbered shams to occupy their minds,” he answered. “Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, then borrow, borrow, borrow. Convince the wives to go to work and the husbands to work six or seven days a week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work. Over stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still small voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive, to keep the TV, the VCR, and their CD’s going constantly in their homes. And see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ.”
“Fill their coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade any other moments with order catalogues, every kind of newsletter and promotional offering, free products, services, and false hopes. Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted, disquieted and unprepared for the coming week. Don’t let them go out in nature. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, and concerts instead. And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotion.”
“Let them be involved in soul-winning. But crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Christ. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family unity for the good of the cause.”
It was quite a convention in the end.
And the evil angels went eagerly to their assignments, causing Christians everywhere to get busy, busy, busy and rush here and there. Has the devil been successful at his scheme? You be the judge.
Author Unknown
by Stacey Lytle
A Testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ is one of the most valuable possessions we can have. President David O. McKay realized this in his youth. He said: “I hungered for it; I felt that if I could get that (a testimony), all else would indeed seem insignificant.”
Our testimonies will sustain us throughout our lives when difficulties and trials come. We cannot be sustained by the testimonies of others, but will have to rely on our own testimonies in order to endure our trials in faith.
President Harold B. Lee explained the importance of a testimony of living prophets. He said: “I want to impress this upon you. Someone has said it this way, and I believe it to be absolutely true: ‘ That a person is not truly converted until he sees the power of God resting upon the leaders of this church, and until it goes down into his heart like fire.’ Until the members of this church have that conviction that they are being led in the right way, and they have a conviction that these men of God are men who are inspired and have been properly appointed by the hand of God, they are not truly converted.”
I want to talk for a couple of minutes about how we receive a testimony. For some, receiving a testimony is a very vivid experience, for others, it is less spectacular, but it is no less important or valuable. The common factor for all who receive a testimony is the fact that is it based on revelation from the Holy Ghost. It comes when the Spirit of the Lord speaks to our heart, mind, and spirit and confirms truth to us.
President Marion G. Romney explained the way he received his testimony. He said, “Sometimes a testimony comes to a person slowly, over an extended period of time. I do not remember a testimony coming to me suddenly…I cannot remember when I did not have a testimony. It has, of course, been strengthened through the years, but I can never remember when I did not believe. But whether a testimony comes suddenly or by degrees, it does something to a person. One is different after he receives a testimony.
Elder Loren C. Dunn said of testimonies: “ It may not come like a flash of light (I don’t know how the Lord is going to communicate with you), more than likely it will be the reassurance and a feeling in your heart, a reaffirmation that will come in a rather calm, natural but real way from day to day until you come to a realization that you do know.”
I find it interesting to read the accounts of how others received a testimony. For me it was very spectacular, it did not come slowly to me, I believe it has grown slowly for me, but in the beginning I believe the Lord knew it would have to be like a flash of light or a tremendously strong feeling for me to know that He truly does exist, that this was the right Church, that I should have been baptized.
There are five steps that are essential in taking to receive a testimony.
1. A desire to believe Alma explains that the first step in gaining a knowledge of the truth is to desire to believe. (Alma 32: 26-27)
The more we study the scriptures and pray, the more likely we can enthusiastically share our testimonies of the gospel with others.
Once we have our testimony, we must continue to strengthen it. President Harold B. Lee said: “Testimony isn’t something you have today, and will have always. A testimony is fragile. It is as hard to hold as a moonbeam. It is something you have to recapture every day of your life.”
Sharing our testimonies with others not only strengthens our own testimonies, but also strengthens the testimonies of those who may hear us.
We must be valiant in our testimonies of Jesus. As members of the church, we have the responsibility to share our testimony with others, both members and nonmembers. We demonstrate our testimony each day by what we say and what we do. Peter advised in
(1 Peter 3:15) “Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.” Our testimonies expose others to the truth and help them desire to know more.
D&C 62:3 and D&C 84:61. What did the Lord promise to those who bear their testimonies? He promises to forgive us our sins.
In D&C 76:22-23 we read the testimony of Joseph Smith and Sidney Ridgon.
Moroni’s counsel to us is priceless. If we study the words of Moroni, we find that he lives more than 1,500 years ago. This prophet had watched as his people were slaughtered and utterly devastated by civil war. His nation in ruins, his friends and loved ones slain, his own father – a great general and a righteous man – killed.
This great prophet, Moroni, having lost all that he loved, stood alone. The last of his people, he was the lone witness to the desolation and heartbreak that results from hatred and rage.
He had precious little time and space on his plates to write a few final words. His own people destroyed, Moroni wrote for our day. To us, he inscribed his precious words of farewell – his final words of counsel:
“Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things…ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men…Ponder it in your hearts. And when ye shall receive these things. I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.”
Don’t you just wish that all could hear the last testimony of Moroni?
All he is telling us in to be sincere. To Study. To Ponder. And to Pray sincerely, having faith.
Moroni also taught, “Dispute not because ye see not for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.”
I believe the testimonies of others help us to increase our testimony! As I was reading, I was able to learn of the testimonies of many wonderful men. I’d like to share a couple of remarks that they have shared.
President James E. Faust in the October 2000 conference address began by saying: “My beloved brothers and sisters and friends, I have lived a long time. As I look back over my life, I recognize once source of singular strength and blessing. It is my testimony and knowledge that Jesus is the Christ, the Savior and Redeemer of all mankind. I am profoundly grateful that all of my life I have had a simple faith that Jesus is the Christ. That witness has been confirmed to me hundred of times. It is the crowning knowledge of my soul. It is the spiritual light of my being. It is the cornerstone of my life.” He shared that the first cornerstone of his testimony was laid a long time ago as a small child. He had had a frightening nightmare and his grandmother woke him, took him into her arms and hugged and comforted him. She told him that they were safe in their home because Jesus was watching over them. He said, “I felt it was true then, and I still believe it now. I was comforted in both body and soul and went peacefully back to bed, assured of the divine reality that Jesus does watch over us.”
He also shared of praying fervently for a special item he’d lost, and learned that after he prayed hard enough, he could usually find it.
This is the sweetest account I read, that I hope and pray my husband would someday say of me. He shares: “In my long life I have found peace, joy and happiness beyond my fondest hopes and dreams. One of the supreme benedictions of my life has been my marriage to an elect daughter of God. I love her with all my heart and soul. Upon the wind of her spirit have my wings been carried. We were married in the Salt Lake Temple 57 years ago when I was a soldier in World War II and did not know if I would come back alive. Her strong, unwavering faith and support have strengthened my own testimony in times of challenge and difficulty. My inevitable eternal journey, if I am so favored, will be wonderful with her at my side.”
As President Faust was called to the holy apostleship many years ago, he was prompted to testify his witness. He did this so humbly as he said, “I understand that a chief requirement for the holy apostleship is to be a personal witness of Jesus as the Christ and the Divine Redeemer. Perhaps on that basis alone, I can qualify. This truth has been made known to me by the unspeakable peace and power of the Spirit of God.”
President Boyd K. Packer said: “A testimony is to be found in the bearing of it. Somewhere in your quest for spiritual knowledge, there is that ‘leap of faith’, as the philosophers call it. It is the moment when you have gone to the edge of the light and step into the darkness to discover that the way is lighted ahead for just a footstep or two.”
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve talked of how his testimony has grown and what has happened in his life to know for assurance of the divinity of Christ. He gave several accounts of priesthood leaders and ward members helping him to know, of his Scoutmaster and the countless hours he spent helping him to grow and he knew. He remembered the words of his mother and father and their expressions of faith and love for their Heavenly Father and he knew. And he shared that when he heard standing at the pulpit in the April 2000 conference President Hinckley, say that Jesus is his friend, exemplar, leader, Savior and King… he again knew and his testimony grew.
Elder Wirthlin closed his talk saying, “Now, I would like to bear testimony – I know that Joseph Smith saw what he saw, that the heavens opened and God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, appeared to an unlearned youth reared in the backwoods of New York. As a special witness of the name of Jesus Christ in all the world, I promise you that if you seek the Lord, you will find Him. Ask, and you shall receive.”
The Vital Things
Lynnelle King — President Message for DHSA- Sept 2004
As I think of the daily challenges, I can group them into 3 categories.
The first are the Important things in our day--- cleaning up, doing our chores, practicing the piano, finishing the math assignment, and watering the lawn.
The second are the Urgent things in our day--- changing the diaper, driving to soccer on time, getting another band-aid, counting to ten and smiling, and getting the door. These two categories easily fill our day with productive and necessary work.
t is the third category though that I wish to draw your attention, and that is to the Vital things in our day. In the long term and in the short term, these daily things can make all the difference. They are Vital. They are scripture study—personal as well as family. Prayer, meaningful pleadings poured out for our welfare as well as generous recognition of our blessings. Obedience to all that we are called upon to do, and Service to our families and our fellowman.
Consistently, we make a plan for the Important things. They make their way into our daybooks and onto our calendars. The Urgent things aren’t planned so well, but seem to push their way forward, edging into the nooks and crannies of our day that we didn’t know existed. It is often however that the Vital things are left to fit where ever they may. It is to the Vital part of our day that I wish to urge your attention for this school year. Make a plan for these vital things, and do them consistently to the best of your ability. In my study of the latest conference issue of the Ensign, I was drawn to a small paragraph in a talk by Elder Rolfe Kerr which reads,
“After Lehi and his family were commanded to leave Jerusalem, they were given a sacred instrument which worked as a compass for them, showing them the course that they should travel. We read that it worked only according to their faith in God. Alma told his son Helaman that the compass was called Liahona. He said: “ And now, my son, I would that ye should understand that these things are not without a shadow; for as our fathers were slothful to give heed to this compass (now these things were temporal) they did not prosper; even so it is with things which are spiritual. “For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land…… {and here’s the clincher!!!}
”O my son, do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way” (Alma 37: 43-46).
This example of how important Scripture Study, just one of the Vital things are, has stirred me to wanting to do better. I do not want to miss the blessings I have been promised because of the “easiness of the way”. Don’t let these Vital things seem too simple to really matter. My prayer for you, my dear friends, is that you will be strengthened in your daily ability to teach your children by your willingness to plan and carry out these Vital things in your home.
Have Faith in the Process
Bill King - March 2005
As the “Homeschool Principal” in our home, I write to all of the mothers out there working so hard to raise your children as you feel constrained, and to educate them in likewise fashion. I salute you. I am grateful for your faith, diligence and sacrifice. Your husbands salute you. We praise your name each night as we kneel down and pray for your health and strength. This is a chosen generation coming to this mortal existence and they have been placed in our hands. That mostly ends up being in your hands due to the reality of having to pay the bills. They are not like we were. These children need to be reared in a manner different from that under which we were reared. They are special. Their individuality is apparent, their strength even more so. And something inside says that we need to teach them differently. Yet, while we “Principals” watch and admire your hard work, I know (if you are anything like most of the mothers I have met) that you are continually wondering if you are doing it “right”. Will they be successful? What about all their weirdness? Are they going to be like the other kids? How can I meet the learning needs of so many different personalities? And that question can come up 4 times on the same day about one child! And, all that weight is on your shoulders. My thoughts tonight say “Have faith in the process.” Remember that you are here and your daily learning is part of the perfecting process called “Life”. It is called probation for a reason. The word probation stems from Latin roots meaning “to test”. Testing is good. A really good test is called a successful experiment. That brings to mind Alma 32 when Alma says:
27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.
True wisdom comes from understanding. Understanding comes from experience. Experience comes from experiment. Experiment means to test. I am an engineer by trade (and unfortunately for my wife, by thought). I develop new products. Some are new from scratch. Some are extensions of old ones. I theorize, I predict and I always test. The only time I fear is when I haven’t tested sufficiently. Testing for success is vital. Testing for failure is even more important for without failure you never know how successful you really are. I call this form of testing “righteous testing”. This is what Alma talks about. He does not say “believe me”, he says to “test” his words. Exercise them and work them over. As you do so, the road for you (and your children) will open up. Testing is fun. Things explode; fizz, and sometimes they fizzle out. Some theories work and some don’t. Ego should not be built from successful tests nor should it be destroyed by “failures”. Tests give direction when results are negative and yield confidence in your position when positive. It is all part of gaining knowledge. Tests always create messes. You get to smile at the mess and move on. The learning comes in the adventure. Adventures can really be frustrating. The best memories come from the biggest adventures. What am I saying? Teach that testing is good. Teach to test for goodness and strength. When something falls apart, jump up and down and scream “Thank you, I now know that that didn’t work!” and move on. Teach that you personally are continually asking and testing and that your increased faith comes by righteous testing. Teach that a fruitful test is worth savoring and that all righteous tests are fruitful. Teach the adventure of life and testing. Have the adventure of a lifetime.
It's a New Year!
Stacey Lytle - January 2003
“0rganize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;
That your incomings may be in the name of the Lord; that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord; that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with uplifted hands unto the Most High.” (D & C 88:119-120)
This time of year usually holds the same for most of us…New Years Resolutions! Changing all the things we’ve needed to, trying to find the time to fit in all we think we should, attempting to achieve the level of perfection we are sure we should be at, losing the unwanted extra pounds we’ve been holding on to, and for homeschooling moms; refocusing and planning a great new year for our kids – a year that promises to hold for them all they will need for success.
Well, who is OVERWHELMED at all of that?! If we look at it all lumped together in one huge pile, it is too much, but we can break it down and set our priorities. Find what is truly the most important focus for your family, work on whatever that may be. Then begin to tackle the next and the next and the next.
The last few days for our family have been focused on re-organizing the areas of our home and school that required attention. My main focus with organizing has been to SIMPLIFY, this helps us as well as our children. Involve your kids in the process, whether it be cleaning out a bedroom, a book shelf, a closet, kitchen cupboards, school notebooks, or totally revamping your system; it doesn’t matter the complexity, it is a great learning tool for kids. Teach them to be organized, this is an extremely important life skill.
I love to take a few minutes here and there to read through inspiring books on motherhood, parenting, schooling, etc. As I was reading the other day, I came across a wonderful, yet simple idea, one that I felt I could easily implement in my life. I find that there are so many great ideas out there, but the time it takes to implement them is far too much for me to invest, with this one, it was not the same case. Here it is, simply…there are 168 hours in each week, make sure to take at least one of these (two would probably be better, if you can find that much time) for planning time for the upcoming week. My thought with this is to take some time each Sunday afternoon to plan for meals for the week, appointments, school items or schedules for the kids, fun time for our family, a possible date with my husband, family home evening ideas and all the little extra’s that each week holds. After I have made the “master plan”, I will present it to our family for their thoughts and suggestions, making sure I haven’t missed anything one of them may have scheduled that I’m unaware of. Taking this hour or two each Sunday should help to keep me from scrambling through the week. Using that small amount of planning time should free up a lot of unnecessary stress and disorganization.
The next big one on my priority list has been to come up with great ideas for our family to work on with the gospel, being sure to include all ages of our children. This can be a challenge, but well worth it. This is to be our main daily focus with all else building around gospel studies. This can be so much fun when you use a little creativity and family planning. My kids are so excited, even the ones who can’t read yet are anticipating “reading” their own scriptures. This will be a new experience for us as we have not yet tried to have the little ones involved in reading with us.
Another focus is on re-evaluating our academics. This, for me, seems to become a priority each summer as well as in January. I find that it’s fun to make a few changes, add some more challenge, and get everyone energized for a new start after the holidays. We like to interview each of our children to see what desires they may have regarding their education and use of time. Their ideas are invaluable and precious. I find that most of my direction comes from them and the best part is they are excited to be a part of the decision making. With our oldest graduating this year, I know we will have many unexpected things coming our way, but one thing is for sure, we will not lack for excitement!
The final major focus for us at this time in our lives is to hopefully have as many details as possible worked out for the August Home Educators Conference prior to our next little bundle of joy arriving. Sometimes this one can seem a bit much, but once again, one day at a time and it eventually all comes together beautifully.
I have found it very helpful to just spend some time thinking and praying about the direction we need to be going. My best advice would be to take it easy, one day at a time and pat yourself on the back at the end of the evening for what you have managed to accomplish; rather than beat yourself up over those unfinished items on the list of to-do’s. Try to put in a little time just for you to relax and focus. Give yourself that gift each week. The results will also be a gift to your husband and children as they see a much more relaxed, calm, happy, joyful mother…a more wonderful you!!!
Happy New Year, Love Stacey
Gratitude
Lynnelle King — President Message for DHSA - December 2004
To the families of the Deseret Home Schooling Association,
I have felt impressed for the past few months that this months’ article should include copies of President Hinkley’s words on the concept of gratitude. It has been my experience that gratitude is a key factor in my personal happiness. When I remember to be grateful, I feel better—regardless of what circumstance I feel myself presented with. It is easy to think of gratitude during this holiday season, the challenge is in acquiring a “Gratitude Attitude” all year long. A few years ago, I was living in Puerto Rico, I had 5 boys all under 6 years old, the twins were only 9 months old and life was—well to say the least CHALLENGING!!!! I can remember one night just crying and then asking my hubby to sing with me (in ENGLISH) “Where Can I Turn for Peace”—Soon thereafter, inspired by Pres. Hinkley’s 6 BE talk, I had an idea to put up a poster near the breakfast table. After scripture study, and before eating, everyone would tell me 3 things they were grateful for that morning. Every morning you had to say 3 different things. This was so challenging for me at first—but after a while it became a favorite time for all of us. Truly our hearts were touched by getting a “Gratitude Attitude”
President Hinkley has called Gratitude a “Sign of Maturity”.
“Gratitude is the beginning of civility, of decency and goodness, of a recognition that we cannot afford to be arrogant. We should walk with the knowledge that we will need help every step of the way.”---Standing for Something
Be grateful.
There are two little words in the English language that perhaps mean more than all others. They are “thank you.” Comparable words are found in every other language, such as gracias, merci, danke, obrigado, domo.
The habit of saying thank you is the mark of an educated man or woman. With whom is the Lord displeased? He names “those who confess not his hand in all things” (D&C 59:21). That is, those who walk without grateful expression. Walk with gratitude in your hearts, my dear friends. Be thankful for the wonderful blessings, which are yours. Be grateful for the tremendous opportunities that you have. Be thankful to your parents, who care so very much about you and who have worked so very hard to provide for you. Let them know that you are grateful. Say thank you to your mother and your father. Say thank you to your friends. Say thank you to your teachers. Express appreciation to everyone who does you a favor or assists you in any way.
Thank the Lord for His goodness to you. Thank the Almighty for His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, who has done for you what none other in all this world could do. Thank Him for His great example, for His tremendous teachings, for His outreaching hand to lift and help. Think about the meaning of His Atonement. Read about Him and read His words in the New Testament and in 3 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. Read them quietly to yourself and then ponder them. Pour out your heart to your Father in Heaven in gratitude for the gift of His Beloved Son.
Thank the Lord for His marvelous Church restored in this great season of history. Thank Him for all that it offers you. Thank Him for friends and loved ones, for parents and brothers and sisters, for family. Let a spirit of thanksgiving guide and bless your days and nights. Work at it. You will find it will yield wonderful results.
---Pres. Hinkley
I wish all of you a wonderful holiday season-
Joy and Blessings be yours
Stacey Lytle ~ July 2002
Several years ago I read a book that has been such a blessing to me and has provided a refreshing way to strive to live my life each day. It was written by Linda R. Archibald and is titled Sunshine In My Soul – Discovering the Magic In Everyday Life. As I have thought about the message I wanted to share, my mind went in numerous directions, but returned time and again to the “Sunshine” I found in this book. I apologize for the length of this article, but each time I tried to find where I could cut, I just couldn’t. The Spirit has had to practically hit me upside the head to make me listen, but I finally realized this was a message that I was meant to share, regardless of the length. I wondered at first what this would have to do with our efforts of homeschooling our children, but after a lot of thought and prayer decided it directly affects each day of our lives and ultimately how our children see us “handling” life. Do they witness us joyfully greeting each day or grudgingly struggling through each day?
I had the pleasure of attending the Conference in Salt Lake earlier this month. While I thoroughly enjoyed the speakers, there was one message that left me saddened and deeply disturbed. Dr. Ann Tracy has done extensive research on depression, the prescribed medications and some of the devastating effects of these. I was unaware before listening to her how very many people suffer greatly from depression throughout their lives. Unfortunately, there are most likely many of us who share in this. For some, it is more severe than for others. I am not an expert in any field, but I would love to share some “Sunshiny ideas” to hopefully brighten your darkest and saddest of days.
In the scriptures there are many sunshine principles, Heavenly Father wants us to have joy in our lives.
“Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25)
“Let us be glad and rejoice” (Revelation 19:7)
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Proverbs 17:22)
In her book, Sister Archibald told of her experiences; “Although my temporal life was comfortable and my testimony was firm, sunshine remained a rare commodity as “Joy” and I played hide-and-seek. On occasion I would find the sparkle, and it would stream in and light up my life, but soon it would dissipate like elusive sunbeams. I relegated the hope of obtaining any kind of long-lasting, real, honest-to-goodness joy to the future, for I didn’t see much of it being available in mortality. Life, I assumed, was very serious business, a rather turbulent endeavor requiring persistent concentration. Of course I knew people who continually danced past me and around me, but I viewed them as slightly eccentric. Many who know me may be surprised at this confession of personal weariness, but those who know me best will concur that I once walked daily with a discontent I had learned to publicly suppress. I was a perfectionist with a long list of unrealistic and, therefore, unmet expectations. Some of life’s greatest challenges are found in our efforts to deal with the invisible weaknesses and limitations hidden inside our minds and hearts.”
How many of us can relate to Sister Archibald? This is so true for so many of us in one way or another. This life is our test. Often times the test is within ourselves and how we choose to deal with the challenges that may face us. We were not meant to persistently plod along, we need to find joy as we go throughout our days. We need to trade melancholy for merriment, gloom for gladness, and sadness for sunshine. We should follow the counsel of President Gordon B. Hinckley: “…in all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured” (Ensign, May 1996, 94).
There is a challenge which accompanies Joy: to do more, to be more, to believe more. Joy (sunshine in your heart) carries a responsibility to stretch. For most of us, exchanging pessimism for optimism requires effort. To find your sunbeams in life, you simply need to face in their direction, in their light, and allow them to light up your life inside and out.
I would like to quote Sister Archibald again:
“Joy is initially a personal choice, a desire and a decision to put in sufficient effort to face the light regardless of external circumstances. Afterward, as with other gospel qualities, our joy can be increased, becoming more brilliant and secure each day as we, through the help of the Spirit, learn to live this important principle. Without question there are those beyond the scope of our mortal vision – Satan and his legions – who have no sunshine in their hearts and who will do everything they can to pull us into their discouraging circle of unhappy campers. We have the power to dispel their influence, the seeds of pessimism and despair, if we but begin the quest for sunshine.”
Following is a recipe for Lemonade (Liquid Sunshine)
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!”
Gather all the sugar you can find and pour it into your life.
You can do this anytime, anywhere.
Here is your “sugar”:
1. Think of good “stuff” and rejoice in it.
2. Don’t hold back genuine, positive emotions.
3. Add a dash of spontaneity.
4. Focus on the present moment and make memories by seasoning with hope, gratitude, and love.
Hope is the primary ingredient in lemonade. Hope enables us to look on the bright side, see the sunny side, make the best of it, take heart, be of good cheer, think of good things and rejoice.
We all know the story of “The Little Engine That Could”. In spite of the engines small size, it agrees to pull a load of toys to children who live over the mountain. Motivated by a sense of mission, the engine begins the steep climb, exerting all the energy it can muster, all the while providing verbal self-motivation, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” The monologue continues as the engine struggles up and up against the odds. Then, amazingly, the little train reaches the crest of the hill, and, both exhausted and exhilarated by its victory, rolls down the other side chanting cheerfully, “I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could”
Most people seem to be searching for an easier way – for some means of making the hills less steep or a way to avoid all cares and troubles. The truth about life’s challenges is that they respond to being acted upon. They level out when we confront them, solve them, and/or banish them through mental or physical personal power. The little engine could have spent all day at the bottom of the hill measuring the height of the mountain and worrying about the degree of difficulty. Instead, he simply took action.
I recently saw a sign that read; “Worry Looks Around, Faith Looks Up!”
All of us have the power to push ourselves beyond our normal limits. This is evidenced as we strive to educate our children both spiritually and academically each day, this is pushing and we can achieve the ultimate goal as we joyfully go along each and every sunshiny day! We can transcend life’s unbidden troubles and achieve our goals. The seemingly unreachable stars really aren’t inaccessible. We Can! If we just invite a little sunshine into our hearts.
At a stake conference in 1996, President Hinckley made a surprise visit. As he bore his testimony and expressed his love, he said, “Do you feel gloomy? Lift your eyes. Stand on your feet. Sing songs of Christmas. Be Positive.”
We need to remember and focus on the fact that we are children of our Father in Heaven, we are loved by Him in the only way His perfection allows Him to love us: perfectly, unconditionally. This means that He loves us always, under all circumstances. His love does not increase or decrease as a result of who we are, how we look, what we have or what we do. He knows our potential as well as our weaknesses, and even when we are far from being all we should be, He still loves us completely.
Because of our infinite worth, our divine nature, we have the power to do something about our behavior – to modify, change, achieve a higher level. But too many of us see the inverse. We think that our weaknesses and failures reduce our value. So often we compare ourselves to others. We might be thinking as we listen to someone at a Mothers meeting, “Oh, she has it all together, why can’t I be more like her” or “Wow, Sister so and so’s kids are so well behaved”, or “How does she motivate her kids to do all that work, and without complaint?” or maybe “My kids just don’t LOVE learning like hers do, I must be doing it all wrong!” or “I can’t do all of this, homeschooling, cleaning, cooking, laundry, changing my baby, chasing my three-year old and have a wonderful spirit in my home, but look at her, somehow she’s able to do it all!!!” We look at others accomplishments and feel that we fall short. But what we should be doing is being realistic, and realizing that we are often comparing their strengths to our weaknesses. That is just too unfair! Don’t beat yourself up unfairly. Instead, take a moment and remind yourself of all that you do and all that you are capable of and good at. If you must, make a daily list of all the important things you did accomplish, maybe you changed 12 diapers, read 10 little books, made a lego tower taller than your children, maybe you baked cookies or a cake with your kids, possibly one of your children finally understood a new math concept, or they finished their first chapter book and you celebrated in their joy…whatever you have done, give yourself the well-deserved credit. Build yourself up continually – let the sunshine in!!!
Without the sunshine of personal worth, we can forget who we are and become discouraged. Remember Who You Are…You are a divine daughter of your Heavenly Father! You are a Mother, the Lord has trusted and believed in you enough to send these choice little spirits to be with you, now you just need to believe in yourself. You are so special!!!
We have all been given weaknesses. But they are not put in our path to make us fail, but to make us stronger. So next time, you come across a problem that feels terribly unfair, do as President Hinckley counsels us to do: “Lift your eyes, stand on your feet, be positive.”
Unfortunately, Happiness does have its counterpart – sorrow and suffering.
“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11)
“In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer” (John 16:33)
Elder Joe J. Christensen has elaborated: “The Lord does not say,’ Be of good cheer if the temperature is comfortable, if you’re getting along well economically, if the people you love love you, if you’re in good health, or if your “bio-rythyms” are up.’ The Lord said that we should ‘be of good cheer.’ It is not a suggestion – it is a commandment” (To Grow in Spirit [1983],34).
I just love reading that…Elder Christensen is so right! Lasting joy is not a result of physical comfort or of always having things our way. Sometimes joy is just the certainty of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel and the trust that our experiences will enable us to grow and ultimately have value.
The trials of life differ for each of us. Some are visible. Some are not. None is easy and all require effort to locate the sunshine. If we are unable to find our own sunshine, then we need to be willing to cast our burden at His feet, ask Him to take it from us, allow Him to intervene. “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee” (Psalm 55:22)
I want to remind you how very wonderful you each are. I pray for you to have sunshine in your lives each and every day. Your role in life as a Mother, Teacher, Friend, and Mentor to your children is so important! I am grateful to be associated with such choice women, thank you! It is my prayer that we will be grateful for the blessings we do have and to focus on those, to try to be optimistic in troubling times, and to add all the sugar we can muster up when we are handed more lemons. May we all enjoy Sunshine each day.
Parenting
Lynnelle King — President Oct 2004
Hello all! I hope you are enjoying the change of seasons!! I feel autumn in the air these days!! As I have pondered over the message to deliver to you this month, I have been drawn to a particular article appearing in the Participants Manual of the Marriage and Family Relations class (p 48-50). I share excerpts of this article with you and cheer you on in your noble role.
“Being a father or a mother is not only a great challenge, it is a divine calling. It is an effort requiring consecration. President David O. McKay stated that being parents is “the greatest trust that has been given to human beings.”
While few human challenges are greater than that of being good parents, few opportunities offer greater potential for joy. Surely no more important work is to be done in this world than preparing our children to be God-fearing, happy, honorable, and productive. Parents will find no more fulfilling happiness than to have their children honor them and their teachings. It is the glory of parenthood. John testified, “ I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 1:4). In my opinion, the teaching rearing, and training of children requires more intelligence, intuitive understanding, humility, strength, wisdom, spirituality, perseverance, and hard work than any other challenge we might have in life. This is especially so when moral foundations of honor and decency are eroding around us. To have successful homes, values must be taught, and there must be rules, there must be standards, and there must be absolutes.
As societies as a whole have decayed and lost their moral identity and so many homes are broken, the best hope is to turn greater attention and effort to the teaching of the next generation---our children. In order to do this, we must first reinforce the primary teachers of children. Chief among these are the parents and other family members, and the best environment should be in the home.
To be a good father and mother requires that the parents defer many of their own needs and desires in favor of the needs of their children. As a consequence of this sacrifice, conscientious parents develop a nobility of character and learn to put into practice the selfless truths taught by the Savior Himself.
What seems to help cement parental teachings and values in place in children’s lives is a firm belief in Deity. When this belief becomes part of their very souls, they have inner strength. So, of all that is important to be taught, what should parents teach? The scriptures tell us that parents are to teach their children “faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost,” and “the doctrine of repentance” (D&C 68:25). These truths must be taught in the home. They cannot be taught in the public schools, nor will they be fostered by the government or by society. Of course Church programs can help, but the most effective teaching takes place in the home.”
Dear families, because we have chosen to educate our children at home, we must keep our parenting skills sharp. We must remember those Vital things that will make all the difference in the end, and we must remember that IT IS WORTH IT!!! To this I add my encouragement!!!
Stacey Lytle ~ March 2003
As I have the opportunity to visit with different mothers, one common feeling that is shared with me is that of being completely and totally overwhelmed at one time or another in our days of homeschooling, child-rearing, housekeeping and in general keeping up with the “busyness of life”. I have thought and prayed about so many of you lately, as it seems we have a very high number of moms who doubt their abilities and competency. I want to encourage you and remind you again that you were divinely chosen to do this work just as your children were divinely chosen to be home with you, to learn from you. You have the potential of raising righteous leaders, happy and contributing citizens, and most importantly children who will grow knowing that there is nothing that they cannot tackle and achieve in this life, you give those blessings to them each and every day by showing your belief in them!
In your daily role as a homeschooling mother and wife, do you feel “enriched, fulfilled, happy, productive, adequate, joyful, respected, understood, renewed, appreciated, motivated, spiritually in-tune, capable, energized, strengthened, nurtured, encouraged, humbled, valued, blessed?” Or, do you find yourself feeling just the opposite of many of these adjectives?
Each day our cups are emptied very quickly by the demands of our children and our responsibilities to our family, not to mention all of the other activities we may be engaged in. Each time a little one needs your attention, you pour a little from your cup into theirs and then a little into another’s cup and another’s and so forth, until you are “empty” from giving all you have to give. When your husband returns from work each evening, you also need to fill his cup…he needs that from you, just as much as your children do. Is there anything left in your cup to give at that point in the day? The interesting and difficult thing about being a mother and wife is that even when we are to the point of empty, we still have the responsibility of nourishing, nurturing and replenishing those who are in need of us. Isn’t it truly amazing that we can continue day after day in this manner? It may seem at times that all we do is give and give and give. It can cause a mother to wonder if she will ever be replenished and nurtured by those whom she so freely gives herself to. Will her cup ever be full or better yet overflowing? As I have given this a great deal of thought, I came to a couple of resolves. The first, depending upon your season in life, whether you have little ones still under foot or if your children are older, or maybe you have some of both; in any case, the first thought is our children do reward us in their own special little ways. But it is our responsibility to be able to recognize and appreciate their way of thanking us. A “Thank-you” can come in the form of a little smile,sometimes a great big hug, or a much needed, “Mom, you’re the best!” Recognizing these little thank-you’s can make a momma’s cup overflow!!! At other times, you may receive absolutely no recognition for the hard work you’ve put in. It is at these times that I find I need to resort to the second thought; the work that I am engaged in is of the utmost importance, it is of the highest priority and I am plugging along each day doing my very best. Some days, I may view myself as inadequate or incapable of all that is set before me, it is at these times I need to try to be more positive, reminding myself that I am physically, mentally and spiritually giving all I can to my family, and that that is enough. My best is truly enough! It has to be, for it is all I can do.
You are each wonderful mothers. The blessings you provide to your family are immeasurable and those whom you serve and love will not forget your acts of goodness. Those around youtruly appreciate you, remind yourselves of this when need be, build yourselves up, search for happiness and joy in your days and believe in yourselves. Remember, our Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness is reflected in our families and your influence for good in the lives of your children will remain with them forever. Let these thoughts renew you and fill your cup to overflowing…you are a wonderful instrument in the Lord’s hand…you are a choice Mother!
Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother’s image is the first that stamps itself on the…young child’s mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world. —President David O. McKay
Daily Sacrifice
Lynnelle King — President Message for DHSA - August 2004
Isn’t July a great month? I love the holiday, July 4th, Independence Day. I have spent some time this month reflecting upon our freedoms and the responsibility that rests upon our shoulders to uphold the morals that have created these freedoms in this country. During my study, I came across a record kept by George Washington written when he was in his early twenties. It is called “Daily Sacrifice” and was written in his own hand.
As I have read his prayers, I am humbled. I am in awe at the man who was chosen to lead our country in the beginning. And these sentiments at age 20!! What follows is his Sunday Morning Prayer that is included in this manuscript. I hope you are edified and humbled by his words.
George Washington's Prayer Journal - "Daily Sacrifice"
George Washington’s Prayer Journal from William J. Johnson George Washington, the Christian (New York: The Abingdon Press, New York & Cincinnati, 1919) pp. 24-35.
(1) Sunday Morning Almighty God, and most merciful father, who didst command the children of Israel to offer a daily sacrifice to thee, that thereby they might glorify and praise thee for thy protection both night and day, receive, O Lord, my morning sacrifice which I now offer up to thee; I yield thee humble and hearty thanks that thou has preserved me from the danger of the night past, and brought me to the light of the day, and the comforts thereof, a day which is consecrated to thine own service and for thine own honor. Let my heart, therefore, Gracious God, be so affected with the glory and majesty of it, that I may not do mine own works, but wait on thee, and discharge those weighty duties thou requirest of me, and since thou art a God of pure eyes, and wilt be sanctified in all who draw near unto thee, who doest not regard the sacrifice of fools, nor hear sinners who tread in thy courts, pardon, I beseech thee, my sins, remove them from thy presence, as far as the east is from the west, and accept of me for the merits of thy son Jesus Christ, that when I come into thy temple, and compass thine altar, my prayers may come before thee as incense; and as thou wouldst hear me calling upon thee in my prayers, so give me grace to hear thee calling on me in thy word, that it may be wisdom, righteousness, reconciliation and peace to the saving of the soul in the day of the Lord Jesus. Grant that I may hear it with reverence, receive it with meekness, mingle it with faith, and that it may accomplish in me, Gracious God, the good work for which thou has sent it. Bless my family, kindred, friends and county, be our God & guide this day and for ever for his sake, who lay down in the Grave and arose again for us, Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
Prayer is a vital part of our relationship with Deity. May our days be filled with our quiet yearnings, and may our families and country be blessed for it.
Wonderful Ways to Love a Child
Message by Stacey Lytle
Dear Friends,
Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, maybe months, when it seems as though your children are definitely out to make sure you, as their mother, pull out every single last hair in your head?! Well, unfortunately it has been that way at the Lytle house for the last couple of weeks. Bickering between all ages of siblings over anything and everything. They are all certain that no one loves them or cares about them, and they are the only kids on earth who have to deal with a family like ours (full of brothers and sisters to argue and fight with.) They will often pipe in just how much better it would be if all the others would just disappear and they could be the only one. I was told just about a week ago that it just isn’t fair to have the only mother in the universe that expects and makes her kids “do things.”
As a mother, these kinds of days are not pleasant. We usually do not react positively to their behavior. And more importantly, most often do not act to solve the reasons for the behavior.
I have spent this week evaluating why we are experiencing all the turmoil in our home and what I could do to rectify this situation quickly. As I was reading through a sweet little book I have, titled, “Wonderful Ways to Love A Child” by Judy Ford, I found this story.
Lighten Up
Parenting is important – probably the most important role in your life – but you don’t need to approach it so strictly and seriously all the time. Parenting can be fun if you lighten up. It makes family life more stimulating and relaxed, and children are more cooperative and learn more easily in a lighthearted atmosphere. Problems are more easily solved and worries are better kept in perspective. Children thrive on the tender loving care of a happy parent. Life is so short. Don’t freak out over how they dress; it really is not a crime to wear mix-match. And don’t get so uptight if they want to skip a bath – they won’t get ill.
Your children are with you for such a short time. Take every opportunity to be happy so that you can savor the moments. To be serious, burdened, constantly critical and negative requires so much effort. But to be relaxed and lighthearted comes much more naturally and is healthier too. Your children will be much more manageable when you’re not stressed out. Slow down. It requires a shift in focus from the demanding task at hand, and you may have to remind yourself about what your priorities really are, but your whole family will benefit. The dishes may sit in the sink a little longer, or that load of laundry may go undone for another day, but were they really more important than sharing a bedtime story with your preschooler and talking about her day?
Even in a crisis the lighthearted approach will always get things moving on the right track more easily. Stephanie, nine years old, was screaming at her mother, “You are so mean!” When her dad walked into the room, he could tell by the tension in the air that a big fight was brewing. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Oh, Mom is sooooo…mean!”
He listened closely as Stephanie told the whole story, and then advised, “Well, just consider her your very own personal meanie.” With that, they all laughed.
When you find yourself overloaded with responsibilities and ready to scream because the trash can is overflowing, the check book is unbalanced, the dog is unfed, and no one is helping out, stop for a moment and ask yourself, “will this matter tomorrow, next week, next year?” Chances are it won’t, but what will matter is the quality of your relationship with your family. No one will care that the floor needed mopping, but someone very well may remember being yelled at by a frazzled mom. Seriousness and unhappiness are habits that you can change.
I was grateful to have read this short little story. It made me stop to think that often, the mood of my children is reflective of my own mood. If I am stressed or hurrying our day, I can see those are the times my children act up. These are also the times they become difficult with one another and with practically every situation that arises. With our little ones, especially, the less time I make available for them, the more they creatively “find ways” to get my time and attention.
The reason I have brought all of this up this month, is that I know from many of you that you experience the same sort of days we have been dealing with in our home. Don’t worry, your family is not unusual, you’re not alone in this, there is not something wrong with your children or you. It’s not much fun to hear our children say to us, “Mom, you are soooo mean!” or “Why is my Mom the only mother in the universe that makes her kids do things?” Another one that I keep hearing in my household, (when I have a bad case of the grouchies) is “Gosh, Mom, maybe you should go take a nap so you won’t be so crabby.” Looking back at the comments of our children can make us laugh and smile, if we could just take that attitude at all times, life would probably be a lot merrier. Just keep plugging along and on one of “those days” remember to lighten up, stop everything you are doing (because nothing is more important than your family) and go have FUN together!!! Everything else can wait, your kids can’t.
You Were Selected, Trained, & Prepared!
Stacey Lytle - President Message September 2003
Hello Dear Friends!
Here we are again, another wonderful year being spent at home with our children is about to begin. I feel so anxious and excited to have a new year upon us. (Especially after such a spiritual conference!) I want to share one of the most profound things I heard from Dr. Glenn Kimber in his keynote address. He started out this particular part of his talk by saying that he is neither a Prophet nor a son of a prophet, that he is not a seer, but he said “I am persuaded that your Heavenly Father knew your children before you did and selected them and trained them. That He ordained the young men and set apart the young ladies to perform special assignments in the last days on this earth. And sent them here for a very special mission. I am persuaded that in the pre-earthly existence our Heavenly Father knew you and selected you and trained you and prepared you to come down to the earth and teach these children. The prophets tell us that the children you have in your homes are the greatest young people that God of Heaven has ever placed on the earth at one time. They are the ones, the prophet said, that the prophets from Adam down have been watching and waiting for the time to come, for they have a very special mission. And each of them have their own special mission. I am persuaded that your young people will have the assignment to help stabilize this nation. I predict within the private schooling movement you have the generation of young people that will help save the Constitution.”
He continued on with this, but what I wish to point out to you is that our Heavenly Father knew our children, that he selected and trained them to come to our families to be educated in our homes by us, their Mothers. And mothers, this should give you that little shot in the arm you may be in need of ~ your Heavenly Father knew YOU and selected YOU and trained YOU and prepared YOU to come to earth to teach these children!!! Isn’t that empowering? I had never thought of this before Dr. Kimber pointed it out. My husband and I were listening to the tapes the day following the conference. Chad stopped the tape, looked at me and said, “Stacey, did you hear what he just said? Don’t you see you’ve had it in you all along, teaching our children is one of the gifts you were given by Heavenly Father, you just didn’t know it!” That was such an inspiring thought to me, I was chosen by Heavenly Father to do this wonderful work for our children.
Best wishes to you during this coming year with your most choice blessings in life, those sweet children that were sent here just for you. I pray that you will be able to meet your assignment of helping your children to meet their God-given responsibilities and be prepared to return back to him. If you will but remember the reason you began homeschooling in the first place, which was in most every case, inspiration from our Heavenly Father to do so, you will not fail and your children will be successful in their special mission in this life!
In conclusion, I want to share that same wonderful feeling with you that I felt when my husband said these words to me. “Moms, did you just read the words of Dr. Kimber? Don’t you see you’ve had it in you all along, teaching your children is one of the gifts you were given by Heavenly Father, you just didn’t know it!” Think about those words, let them sink in and remember them often. Always lean on your Heavenly Father when in need and you cannot fail, for you were chosen to do this wonderful work!
Strengthening Marriage
By Stacey Lytle - November 2002
What is Love? President Hinckley describes love in a wondrous way. He said, “Love is of the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is more than the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arches across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. How rich are those who enjoy it in their associations with family, friends, church, and neighbors. He goes on to say, “I am one who believes that love, like faith, is a gift of God.”
Do we look at our spouses as a gift from God? The love that they bring and share with us is truly a gift. I do know with an assurity that my husband is a gift to me. I waited a great deal of my life for something or someone as wonderful as he is. When I met my husband, I had no confidence in myself, was afraid of saying what I may have thought or felt about anything, whether it was of importance or not. I did not believe I had any self worth and actually questioned many times why he would even want to spend any amount of time with me. What I have come to find after many wonderful years with him is that I am a worthwhile person, the things I have to say are important and he wants to hear what I think and feel. He has brought me to a point in life where I can believe in myself, and I look at life in a new way. The joy that he brings to me each and every day is immeasurable, and this is only because he tries, he encourages, he uplifts, he builds me, he cares for me and he truly loves me.
Do you do things for your husbands to let them know how special they are to you? These can be, and usually are the simplest of things, but can be the most meaningful to your spouse, mostly because they will know these “little things” are meant just for them. For instance, I know certain things that my husband likes and I try, although not often enough, to make these for him-he loves my chocolate chip cookies and each time I make them he just raves that they are the very best cookies ever. Such a simple thing, but he loves them! Another thing I occasionally do is stop by Lee’s Candies in Boise and pick up some of their dipping chocolate, this is also a nice little treat that lets him know I am thinking of him. Chad and I attended a couples overnight retreat with our ward a couple of years ago and had the opportunity of listening to a speaker whose subject was also on Marriage. She read a paper to the group that was written in the 1950’s and was published in a popular magazine. (Regretfully, I could not find a copy of it.) It addressed how a wife should prepare for her husband to return home from work. As we listened, most of us were snickering and I’m sure all of us thought to ourselves that these were definitely things from the past, people just don’t do that now. There were things on the list such as preparing your children by cleaning them up and having them sit quietly until their father arrived home, this way he could walk into a peaceful home. (Unfortunately at my home, this is a very rare happening, when Dad walks in the door he is immediately attacked and there is no quiet…but I know he would much rather have it that way) Other items on the list were as simple as cleaning up the house, making sure dinner was ready to be served or at least cooking, help him to relax when he arrives and be sure to wear a bow in your hair to assure that you will be looking your best. Well, Chad and I talked about these little things and giggled over many of them, and even now when he calls me to let me know he’s on his way home, he’ll say, “Make sure you have a bow in your hair,” and we both laugh! Some of these things may seem outrageous and a lot of pressure on a wife, but as I really put some thought into them, the entire message was to simply prepare a nice place for your husband to come home to, that he feels welcomed, loved and appreciated. When Chad calls me to say he’s on his way home, our children and I all scatter through the different rooms in our home, each person taking a room and we try to tidy up those things that aren’t in order. Lighting a candle or two is also a really nice touch – but far more important than all of these things – I can’t wait to see my husband, when I know he’ll be home shortly I’m excited to see him and he can sense this. I’m sure that one of the highlights of his day is returning to a home full of children attacking him before he can even shut the door behind him and to a wife who is smiling and very happy to see him. Please don’t think that everything is always tidy and perfect, because that is not the case, the point is just that I do try and he knows that. The beauty of this is that he knows that I will have these things done if at all possible and I know he does appreciate it when this is the appearance of our home. But when things are a disaster and things lay about in total disarray, he will just come in and help out with those things that remain unfinished. (Team Work.)
Is your husband your best friend? Your husband should be the person you desire to tell everything to, that you would want to spend all of your time with. I think my husband and I could spend days on end together and never run out of things to talk about and to laugh about. We can take a trip somewhere and regardless of the distance we never need to turn on a radio because we just enjoy talking and sharing things with one another. I admire my husband and respect him. I look to him for advice and guidance. I count on him to be there at all times and he always has been and undoubtedly will always be. It is truly a blessing to be married to your best friend, to share the same hopes and dreams. It is so wonderful to look at the little people that together you bring into this world and work together to help them to become whatever their hearts desire. If you do not have this kind of a relationship with your spouse, take the time to get to know them, take the time to do special things for them, spend time doing anything and everything together, not separately – this does not mean you have to be without your children, but there are definitely times when that is a necessity...Sometimes you need to just be husband and wife instead of mom and dad, this allows you to be silly, crazy, to laugh and enjoy just that special someone. Be creative and have fun planning things for just you and your spouse, or for the whole family. These are the times you make the most wonderful memories. One of the very most important blessings of a happy marriage is what it does for your children. They can see what life should really be like, they will desire to have the same kind of marriage. Our oldest daughter Shealyn will say things to us like, “You guys are so weird, always kissing and hugging and laughing!” She has also said that she is afraid to grow up because she knows she will never be able to find anyone who will be like Dad. Isn’t that wonderful!!! She will not settle for less than she deserves, she will also marry her best friend, because that is what she sees in us and wants to have the same happiness we enjoy. When your husband is your best friend, life is so beautiful!
Try to overlook little faults that you may find with one another. A quote that I really treasure is, “Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” If you will think about these lines, I think you will see their importance. When we see our spouses in the whole, instead of breaking out little bits here and there, we can potentially see the wonderful person they truly are. Too many couples feel discontent with their marriages, they find fault after fault in the person they are married to. Try to look past these things and treasure all of the good that is in your spouse and you will find it difficult to name anything that really bothers you about your loved one.
President Hinckley said in a regional conference in 1995, “Any man who will make his wife’s comfort his first concern will stay in love with her throughout their lives and through the eternity yet to come.” He said this after discussing selfishness, anger, arguments, losing tempers, etc. To have a successful marriage there cannot be selfishness, marriage works when both people would do anything to assure the happiness of the other.
Please cherish and value your spouse, always find the good in them, do all in your power to please and uplift them. Spend as much time just being with and enjoying everything they bring into your life.
And remember that special person is a gift…your gift from God.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
What Makes A Marriage Work
By Chad Lytle - November 2002
My wife is an amazing person. She can do anything she sets her mind to and accomplish tasks quicker than most. For instance, just yesterday, she informed me the speakers for this meeting could not make it and asked if I would be willing to fill in. I said, “No way, I mean, I’m working late and have an event I am attending after that. Then there is work tomorrow, when would I find time to write a talk unless I don’t sleep.” She just looked at me and …well here I am, and I know what makes a marriage work, two little words. When she asked again with that sad little look and said, “pleeeaase,” what could I do, but say, “Yes Dear”.
I have a copy of the Ten Virtues That Will Heal our Hearts and our Homes by Gordon B. Hinckley that I am going to go over and then expand a little on each point.
Love, Honesty, Morality, Civility, Learning, Forgiveness and Mercy,
Thrift and Industry, Gratitude, Optimism, and Faith.
Love:
Do you love your wife or are you in love with your wife?
I have fourteen ways to show her that you are in love with her.
Honesty:
When the bishop interviews you, one of the biggest questions that he asks is if you are honest in all of your dealings. There is a saying that is hard to cheat an honest man. If you are not honest with others, then you cannot be trusted at home or worse yet away from home. Mistrust in a marriage usually leads to divorce.
Morality:
How many immoral people do you know who are happy? Immorality leads directly to hell without pass and go. It comes in many forms such as pornography, movies, music, and corrupts our minds with evil thoughts of discontent with whom we are and whom we are married to. No one can be happy and immoral at the same time.
Civility:
Never belittle one another. Don’t argue in front of your children. Your idea is not the only way. Speak kindly of one another, especially in front of others. Build each other up and adopt a pet name. My wife has several pet names, such as Lover, Beautiful and she always calls me Dear.
Learning:
Get to know each other by conversation. People change so keep talking to one another. Do you know her favorite food, color, activity? Can you order for her at a restaurant? What are her views on things such as politics or discipline? Do you really know or do you just think you know?
Forgiveness and Mercy:
Two words, You’re Wrong, no matter how right you think you are, you’re wrong! Any man can be a stubborn jerk and say “my way or no way”. A real man learns to swallow his pride and beg for forgiveness from the Angel in his life for being a stubborn jerk. As well as being big enough to say, “It’s ok, I still love you anyway.”
Thrift and Industry:
Work, work, work. Work as if your family depended on it and then try to save some, so if there is no hay to make, at least you can still eat.
Gratitude;
Are you thankful? Thankful that you are loved by a beautiful woman? Thankful that she cooks for you, cleans for you, listens to you and cares for you as well as your children. If you are grateful for all of these things, then let her know by thanking her everyday for all of her hard work and for her love.
Optimism:
Always look for the good things in your life. You are respected as the leader of your family. You have a wife who will be there for you to help in anyway she can. You and your wife have the gospel and are teaching your children to walk uprightly before God and with that what else matters?!
Faith:
Have faith in your life. Faith in yourself, because confidence is appealing. Have faith in your wife that she can do anything and she will. Have faith in your children that they can choose the right and they will. Have faith in your God and all things are possible.
In closing, I would like to say that I am IN LOVE with my wife. She is the light of my life, and the joy in my soul. Remember to listen to her and tell her how beautiful she is. Mean what you say when you say you love her so that she can respond, “I know.” I truly believe that if you will put your wife on a pedestal and compliment her for all that she does for you then she will make room for you to stand beside her.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.